Isn't it all in the name?

 A good name is more desirable than great riches. Proverbs 22:1

...and it's everywhere in this place.

and I remember this too, always...

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12



A good name is better than fine perfume. Ecclesiastes 7:1

And a good name it is. I am so blessed to be a part of this family. Thank you Mr. Kyle Nace for choosing me. You're a good man and that is why I love you. Mr and Mrs...always from this day forward...



Happy 11th Anniversary!!!!!

What to do? What to do?

So I'm sitting here on yet another snow day for my kids wondering what to do. To be honest my first inclination is to lay in bed all day on this computer and watch tv. That would pass the time and require next to no energy. I am getting old, ya know? Wasting away with this time just sitting around.

How much fun is that? How productive is it? Why can't I get motivated to live?

The sun is shining so bright today, setting of sparks of color from every flake of snow. But I don't really know it, see it. The light is coming through drawn curtains. Why are the curtains drawn? It is a beautiful day and the light falls on surfaces whispering to me, "come alive."

The bedroom door is half open with the sound of the dishwasher and a movie flooding in. I hear my oldest talking on the phone. I wonder if I hollered "let's go outside" if they'd drop everything to get ready?

But do I really want to do that? I go downstairs to make my 2nd cup of coffee. I notice how dark the living room is so I go down and open the curtains. Awww, there. More light for today. As I come upstairs I notice I shut my bedroom door behind me, keeping out all the noise of the day. Before I sit I turn to open it back up.

I hear my youngest laughing with his brother as if to say, "it's time to play." My oldest is on youtube and the song she is playing...I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me and I start to think...


It's time to go meet God here. Right here in this place. He is all around. Everything is God beautiful. And it's time to play.

Chapter 6: 1000 Gifts

Ann asks us in this chapter, "What do you want?" The answer is easy for me. It is the same as Ann and I think maybe that is why I enjoy her writing so much, why I got this book. I just knew. We want the same thing. What you want may be a different thing but just take time to figure it out.

So to sum it up I'll just put some things from the book that jumped out at me.

What do I want?

" Lord I want to see." (Luke 18:41) pg.108

And whether I am conscience of it or not, any created thing of which I am amazed, it is the glimpse of His face to which I bow down. Do I have eyes to see it's Him and not the thing?" pg.112

That is what makes us persevere through a life: to see Him who is invisible! pg 115

I long to live all eye.  pg 115 ( This is my prayer, that I live all eye.)

Praying with eyes wide open is the only way to pray without ceasing. pg.121

#34...warm wash clothes
#35...sleepy yawning eyes in the morning
#36...little voices singing

It's all God beautiful, really.

Chapter 5: 1000 Gifts

So here's what I'm taking from this chapter...

Dark days are going to come your way. They have and they will. You want a right relationship with God when those days do come. Listing the ways he loves is a good way to start knowing God.

# 29...sound of wind chimes
#30...the pink in sunset across the sky
#31...smell of charcoal grill

Kyle said to me last night, after reading my list, "I don't get how some of this stuff you see as a gift from God. Like your first one, the sound of Kyle shoveling snow before the sun has risen. I don't see that as a gift. I have to work hard to do that. I hate shoveling snow."

Yes, but you are alive to be able to do it and I am grateful for that. And I don't have to be able to hear the wind chimes, see that pink hue in sunset, or smell that charcoal. At any moment I could go blind or deaf or whatever. Darkness could fall at any moment but for now I get to experience all these things. And I want to thank God for them because they are a gift. God's grace towards me.

Chapter 4: 1000 Gifts

"We are all merely shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing" (Psalm 39:6). pg.65

I actually feel that deep. I can't stand busyness. I don't want to sit around doing nothing but constant motion drives me mad. I love to be still.

Kyle used to come to me and say "on Monday we have these 3 things, on Tuesday we have this, Wed. and Thursday we have to go here and do this, oh and next Friday I'll be out of town for 3 days and you'll have to take care of everything then.

My man is just made that way. He loves to stay busy. It's who he is and I love him. Sometimes on the way to kid's sporting events we'll be in such a hurry even though we leave an extra 30 minutes early. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Fights start, moods change, and right before your eyes...the hurry has emptied our souls. pg.67

Haste makes waste. pg. 66


It makes you feel like there is never enough time. I don't like feeling that way.

I finally told Kyle one day, when he was running down his list of the weeks events, "Stop, I don't want to hear it. Tell me 2 days before you have to leave town. No sooner please and don't list off the events of the week anymore. It stresses me out. I feel the anxiety rise in my cheeks. I need to be all here, right now, not constantly thinking about all that has to be done and that there's not enough time for it all."

And I love this most. The way she writes this. It clicks in the brain. "Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. I'd never considered those to words, the bridge words there in the middle, the crossing over that took the not enough and made it enough.
 Gave thanks... Eucharisteo."

There wasn't enough bread but Jesus took it and gave thanks and by doing so it was made more than enough.

You see, it's happening. Finally, I'm getting it. I am a hunter of beauty and I want to move slow and keep the eyes wide. I hunger to taste life. pg.71


Take this moment. Notice this moment. Give thanks for it. In good times and in bad. And it will be enough.

In my head I know it. See it clear. Slow, taste, give thanks. This precedes the miracle ~ joy.

What is love?

Love is...

#9...dangling red hearts

Love is~ #10...red roses to his love

Love is~ #11...valentine's from school

Love is~ #12...red masking tape roses made for his mama

Love is~ #13...reminders of what to do

Love is~ #14...red heart valentine's made at school displayed high above door frames

Love is~ #15...homemade valentine from his wife that sets on his bedside table







Love is~ #16...words that remind me to slow and see

Love is~ #17...roses from her daddy(the one who raised her)reminding her the true love of a father...a man

Not all love is red, I know.

but...WHAT IS LOVE?

It's right there already highlighted in my husband's Bible.

Do you see it right there in black and white? GOD IS LOVE. And I think it over, and yes, this love is red too. Blood red.

#18...this love hangs

#19...and His love is all around

So look and SEE and count the ways he loves...

(says Ann Voskamp)

@

Chapter 3: One Thousand Gifts

"Just naming it...Just naming it. When you don't have the name for something, you're haunted by shadows. It ages you." (pg.52)

For almost a year here recently I lived that. The not knowing, the unnamed. Blood test after blood test. Bone density tests, holter monitor's and EKG's. Endocrinologists who say every thing's fine here. NO NAME. It ages me.

This is my baby we're talking about here. I wanted the mystery solved so I didn't have to live in the shadows anymore. Finally, a gastroenteroligist names it. Celiac Disease. An autoimmune disease that destroys the intestines if gluten (wheat, barley, or rye) is ingested.  We have a name, we research it, and we know what to do and we move on.

It aged me.

Here I am again not even a year later looking to solve another mystery. Needing another name for something else that has gone wrong with my girl. More needles and more tests. No name yet...(since I wrote this the Dr. called and she was dehydrated and low on potassium. That's why she collapsed at school) Praise the Lord for that. I thought she was going to be diabetic on top of the Celiac. God is good...all the time.

All of that just to say, "I totally get how giving a name to something allows you to see it for what it is."

And like you, I have been in plenty and I have been in want. If I am to be totally honest with you, right now I am in want. I am fully aware that I have not given thanks in ALL circumstances. But I believe it's time. I want to learn to live fully. I want to learn to be thankful whether empty or full, in plenty or in want. (pg 47)

Something on page 61 strikes me like a blow. "Life change comes when you receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change."

I don't think I've ever done that. I feel sorry for my girl and want things to change for her...I'm not gonna lie.

But, life change comes when you receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change.

So, I have to start somewhere and maybe the not asking for things to change will come in time. On page 57 Ann says this,"There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up."

...and if I name them I will see them for what they are. A GIFT!

The beginning of my giving thanks in all things...

                                   My SEEd list: a hunt to see God's love for me

#1...the sound of Kyle shoveling snow before the sun has risen
#2...the street light illuminating the falling snow
#3...I get to do her laundry

                                   SEED...WATER...GROW

Week Two: One Thousand Gifts

I'm sitting here reading the first part of this chapter, the part where she is having a nightmare about being diagnosed with cancer, and the way she describes it sends chills through. While she was birthing her 6, and cleaning floors, and kissing their daddy this cancer was taking over her body.

And it got me to thinking, what if? What if that's happening to me right now? I do a lot of griping in this life to not know how many days I have left. And no one knows how much longer you get to live. No one but God.

I live somewhere in between living fully alive and living in nothingness.

Ann says, "IT'S THE IN BETWEEN THAT DRIVES US MAD."

She's right. It's the in between that leaves me always wanting more.

BUT...I am learning that it's joy I want. And Joy comes from giving thanks(eucharisteo).

Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy.    Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy.    Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy.

 I keep thinking if I say it enough it might sink in. 

I am reminded of some things I wrote awhile back, here and here.

Seems God has been stirring my soul about this for some time now. And now this book. All the stars are aligning. I love it when he does that. Thank you God.

Dear Heavenly Father, may we all open our eyes to see all the gifts you have given us. May we give thanks for them all. And Lord bring joy to our hearts. We are sorry for the things we do wrong; the selfishness, the anger that rises, and the many more. Please forgive us and help us open our eyes wide to beauty. Thank you for all you have given. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.

I Can't Breathe

This morning my oldest son decides he hates trying out these contacts. He wants his glasses and where are they? It's been three weeks and we haven't gotten them yet. There is no time. I feel like a bad mom.


My youngest son has some eye issue going on for two months now. It just won't clear up. He woke up this morning with the same red eye after I thought it was finally gone. I called the eye Dr. and he gives me new drops. This is the 4th one.


One phone call this afternoon. That's all it takes for the fear to rise. I'm in the middle of the grocery store and she tells me she's the nurse from the high school. Dallas has collapsed at school. She got dizzy and down she went. Had to have help to get to the nurse and she asks if she is hypoglycemic. I tell her no but that she has Celiac Disease and it can cause all sorts of problems. She asks if she can give Dallas ibuprofen for her headache as she hit her head on a chair and has two big bumps. I talk to Dallas and she says is fine now. Had I known all the story then I'd have picked her up from school and taken her to the Dr. immediately. More blood tests, more needles. She is prepared.

I'm taking the meat off of a chicken and give the wishbone to my 5 year old to do with his brother, he drops it on the floor and the dog gets it. I try but can't get it from the dog and he swallows it whole. I call the vet and he tells me what to do and what to watch for.

And I think again about Dallas. And it's this. All that I can think about. Fear grips me tight like a noose around my neck. I can't breathe. I go outside and I suck in the cold air deep. Breathe. I am not in control. I am not in control.


Then I hear the melody of a birds song. What used to be background noise is now music to my ears. And it reminds me...

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? - Matthew 6:26-27

God is in control. Easy to say. Sometimes so hard to believe.

Week One: One Thousand gifts

Seems we all have things that brand our lives, don't we? Things that we never forget. And regardless of time spent thinking on it and thinking of it, trying hard to move passed; it's never gonna go away. That is life. A very harsh reality.

I have followed Ann's blog for years and never knew this was all part of her story. Not until I began to read the pages did I ask myself...how in the world has she moved passed all this-darkness? It wasn't 'in the world' that she got through it, but in Christ Jesus. That's how.

Not too long ago I met with an old friend to catch up. She told me about some very serious marriage problems she is having. After listening to her I recall saying, with tears running down my cheeks, "I have been in some very dark places in my life. And it's in those places that you learn to love the light."

THANK GOD there is light even in darkness. But, what Ann says is true, it is a choice. God always leaves it a choice.

After all, he is a God of love not a God of force. He waits for you to call him. He waits for YOUR love. Seek him.

Thank God there is light somewhere in this black hole.

That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart aching beauty beyond. ~Ann Voskamp

This is my prayer for all of us-

Dear God,
   I pray each one of us reaches for you, that you are the one we seek in time of need, in time of crisis, and in times of darkness. There is so much darkness Lord. I pray we seek the light that is you. And you are faithful God. You are always there. May we feel that deep inside today Lord. Carry us till we can put one foot in front of the other again. Forgive us when we desperately try on our own. Thank you for who you are...The Everlasting Faithful God. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.

Beauty

Of all the things the eye can see

when you go for a walk

In search of beauty...

                                                             You might be surprised

                                                          If you opened up your eyes

 

to see the wonder of it all

The start of 1000 Gifts Book Club

Okay there are still a few that haven't signed up for a google account so they can leave comments. It's easy. Go down a couple of posts and there is directions for you there. You can also leave comments anonymously(just type your name at the end of your comment so we know who wrote it) if you'd rather do it that way instead of signing up with google. But, all you really need to sign up with google is a username (email address) and a password. Once you get signed up leave me a comment.

Let's start today ladies. I've been waiting to dive in! I say we read a chapter a week and I'll post something here about each chapter every Monday. Next Monday will be the first post on the book-not tomorrow. When I do that I'll leave a link on FB just like I did this one. Please do comment on the posts here about anything you were thinking about while reading it. You never know what might help someone else.

 Little things matter.

 So, grab those Bibles and the One Thousand Gifts and I'll leave you with these thoughts:

What Will Today Bring?



This is the beginning of a new day.

God has given me this day to use as I will.

I can waste it or use it for good.

What I do today is important, because I am

exchanging a day of my life for it.

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,

Leaving in its place something I traded for it.

I want it to be gain, not loss;

Good, not evil;

Success, not failure,

In order that I shall never regret the price I paid for it.

                                           ~Author Unknown

So....
I dare you to get your highlighters out.
I dare you to mark what jumps off the pages.
I dare you to fall to pieces here.
I dare you to pick yourself back up.
I dare you to let the world SEE who you are.
I dare you to be changed.
I dare you to tell the story only you can tell.

...because everyone has a story and your story might just save someone else's life.

In the midst of it all, may we find joy. It's time to love God in a whole new way.


Dear God,
Help us to SEE the world around us no matter how beautiful or ugly. And help us to give thanks for it all. In Jesus' name, Amen

All The Things A Smile Can Say

I recently helped my mom move my grama into a nursing home. That's never an easy thing to do. We were sitting in the dining room of the assisted living facility we were moving her out of. My grama and her best friend were sitting across the table. Plates of goulash and corn sat in front of us and the task at hand loomed in the air.

I look up from my plate just in time to notice an exchange between grama and her friend Carmen. These women are old and their lives have been full of joy and sorrow. Carmen looks at grama and smiles with a smile that says, "how am I going to make it here without you?" Grama smiles back and grabs her hand, "How am I going to live there without you?"

Over my plate of goulash and corn, my eyes brim over with tears and all I can think is WHY? Why does life have to be full of goodbyes?

This morning I pushed back the curtains to see all the snow that had fallen gently at night while I slept. The memory of their smiles to each other comes to mind as I watch the snow sparkle in the morning light.

It saddened my heart and I wondered why again, that life is full of goodbyes? That's when the memory of their smiles, which is burned into my mind, ignited a thought deep in my soul...

Love is beautiful.

One simple truth that changes everything.






Join us @ 

Getting ready for: 1000 GIFTS!

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FB book study

I preordered this book over a month ago. One Thousand Gifts: A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp. I read her blog every morning. Ann gives me fresh thought for the day; a sense that all is really well no matter what. She has a gift. A GIFT! Her words make my spine straighten and shoulders push back so I can take a deep breath.That's what she can do with God. Help you breathe.

This is the book I would love to do an FB Bible study on. I'm not sure I could even call it a Bible study but a getting together and discussing how the book is changing us. And there is NO DOUBT this book will change us. No doubt this book will make us better. I already know thanksgiving will get me there. I just need someone to show me the way.

The book will be released in the next week or so, so there's still time. Order today and we'll begin reading soon. I'll keep you posted. Thinking we will read a chapter or so a week (if we can read that little at a time?) and then discuss it here on my blog. You'll have to set up an account to leave your thoughts after my posts, and I'll leave a link through FB. Push the comment button below and set up an account today!

I KNOW you won't be disappointed. Ann Voskamp is a gift from God...Order it today and let me know if you're in!

My Dear Friends...

I had made a comment about Jessica's celebration of life being refreshing. I almost deleted it several times hoping not to offend anyone. I mean who uses a word like that in a situation like that? Honestly it was the first word that came to mind so I wrote it.

After a short time I decided I'd go to dictionary.com just to see the actual definition of the word refreshing. This is what it said:

REFRESHING: having the power to restore freshness, vitality, and energy

The word is a perfect description of Jess' celebration!!!



While I have you here I also wanted to share a devotional I had written a couple of years ago. It's my butterfly story.

A Moment I Won't Forget

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecc. 3:11

Whenever I hear this verse I am taken back to the far corners of my mind, to that place where all my memories lie.

We lived in Georgia and one of me and Kyle's favorite things to do was to go check out new houses. The Atlanta suburbs are full of new construction. The kids didn't like this much because we could spend all day out there on the open road, stopping at any new subdivisions we came across.

We found one that was spectacular. Of course, the realtor was right there when we were getting the information on the houses out of the mailbox. We talked for a bit and then he wanted to show us this house that was only studded at that point. We looked at the house with him and then headed back out towards the car. As we were walking we were talking to this realtor and the whole time this was going on I could hear Dallas saying, "Mom...Mom...look at this!"

At this point I am getting really annoyed because I'm thinking how rude is this girl. Here I am trying to have a conversation with this man and she just keeps saying, "Mom..Mom...look at this!" So, I finally jerked my head around and in total irritation, hollered--"WHAT!!"

She had her hands cupped and with this huge smile on her face said, "Watch this."

Dallas opened up her hands and out flew the most beautiful butterfly I had ever seen. It was cobalt blue and it just fluttered around our faces for a few seconds and then flew off. It was breathtaking. I knew God had given that moment to me and Dallas. Something special for the two of us to share.

God does that, you know. Gives us special moments. Most of the time( like me) we don't take the time to notice them. I am so very glad that Dallas was persistent. And, I am so thankful that she is the type of person that "stops and smells the roses."

I learned some things that day.
-God gives us children to teach us how simple life can be

AND

-The Earth is filled with His glory!

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

                                           Ecc. 3:11

I always think of butterflies when I hear that verse. And you all- He WILL make everything beautiful again! Just don't be afraid to open up your wings and fly.

Love, Cheri

                         

On to the New Year

Christmas came quick this year. The day moved slow and easy, long and deliberate, just the way I like it. And now the new year is upon us; 365 more days to live -hopefully. What will we do with them?


 Job 19:25-27 says this:
I know that my Redeemer lives,
 and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
 I myself will see him
 with my own eyes-I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!


Not that what I'm about to say has much to do with that verse necessarily...but it got me to thinking.

Seeing something with the eyes can make the soul break open wild. And wild, well that's kind of been what I've always been. God made me that way. I just used it for my purposes instead of his.

I don't believe God ever drew a line in the sand and said, "Don't cross this."  But I do believe he drew that line just to see how far we might go for him. I have always chosen my own way. How about you? I wouldn't dare to put even a toe over to the wild side of God's dash and still here I sit questioning how to fully, wildly live. I'm convinced the only way to know...is to step over.

"I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey his voice, and that you may cling to him, for he is your life and the length of your days. Deuteronomy 30:19-20


Heavenly Father,
My next 365 days...Use me. There is no greater purpose in life. You are my creator and I am your masterpiece gently molded by your hands. The road has been long and rough. I chose not the direct path, but the long winding one with many forks, all because you created a wild soul within me. There was something for me to learn and I have learned it. You are my God and I have faith you will go with me. I am willing. My eyes are open, my ears are not deaf. I have no excuse. I am capable because you have made me that way. You are a powerful God. Please Lord, show me the way. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen

Here in the next year, this is how I will fully, wildly live- eyes aware of the world around me and ears listening to the voice of God.

How will you live wild?

The Candle

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of the shadow of death

a light has dawned.  Isaiah 9:2

                                             JESUS

                     The last candle to be delivered tonight.
                    May His light shine forever in your hearts.

Sweet Love

While it's still dark, he walks to the edge of the bed and searches out her face. He bends, and lightly  brushes his lips on her cheek. He moves slowly to her ear and softly whispers, "I adore you" -then he turns towards the door for work that beckons.

Of all the words he's ever spoken to her, it's those three that keep coming back. Over and over again.

                                                    I love this man...
                                                 

The Look

Love this photo! I don't think anyone else noticed what was going on but I am so happy I caught the moment forever. I clicked that button at just the right time.

Cooper slowly puts his arm around Mikah. She turns to him and says "what do you think you're doing?" To which Cooper just smiles. He doesn't say a word. He must be practicing for future years when he has his first real girlfriend. The look on Cooper's face is priceless to this mama's heart. I see it now, playing out just the same in about 10 years at a movie theater. That exact look as he shyly puts his arm around his girl.

I won't be there to see that one- but it'll be here before I know it. Until then- I'll love the innocence in this photo. It melts my heart. I love, love, love it!