Friday, October 11, 2013

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

I've stood at the base of the mountain and looked up that 1,000 feet thinking ain't no way Lord. Ain't no way!
Spent days taking step after step and those days turned to weeks, and weeks turned into months. I'd lay awake at night crying into my pillow to the point I thought I'd drown. But...

You have seen my wanderings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? -Psalm 56:8

I walked every step up that mountain and I cried the whole way. I made it over the top and back down the other side and when I got there I took off running never looking back. Until yesterday. It has taken me YEARS to figure out that God had truly answered my prayers. You might ask what I had been doing all those years?

Not thanking God. Turned my back, gave Him the cold shoulder never realizing I'm through it. He has delivered me people, right on over to the other side of that big tall mountain. He set the path, gather my tears along the way, and wrote every step in His book. He did not forget me.

You might wonder why I believe every word of the Bible? It's because he made sure I lived through it so I WOULD believe it. I may not have liked the way he went about it, but I am here to testify IT"S TRUE!

If you think He does not see you, your pain, and that big ol' mountain before you...YOU ARE WRONG.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Is This a Midlife Crisis?

I have spent the last 10 plus years being a stay at home mom taking care of the kids and the house. My youngest is now in second grade. I recall when he first started kindergarten the elation, the oh man I'm gonna have all this time to do whatever I want, and I did. His first grade year rolled around and towards the middle of it I began to struggle. Now, just one month into his second grade, I sit here and wonder what I have become. Because really there are only so many times you can mop a floor and only so many loads of laundry you can do in a day. What has become of me?

I was a nurse before I quit to stay home all those years ago. Now I feel like I have nothing. NOTHING. No job to occupy my time, no kids to take care of all day, and I don't even have a clue who I am anymore. I feel like I gave it all up all those years ago and for what?

I, a very strong willed woman, have become dependent on a man. I text my 17 year old daughter yesterday, who is also very strong willed, and told her to keep trucking away at school and don't ever give up what you want and don't ever and I mean EVER become dependent on a man. She never responded. I wonder what she thinks of that.

I have been a lost lost soul. When I stop the pity long enough I realize my life has been exactly as I chose it to be. Every step and every decision I made for myself and it's time to take responsibility for it. It's not fair to my husband to have a sullen ticked off ungrateful wife who thinks she gave it all up just to take care of his kids. While he works away to provide I sit pissed off because I'm stuck with nothing. My heart has been overflowing with anger and I have to say I am sorry to the man who has provided me the privilege of watching my kids grow up and being there when they've gotten off the bus.

I am sorry. This is not your fault. We are a team.

I have surrounded myself with asking Why? What? How? Where do I go from here? for so long I never stopped long enough to make a move.

Today I took the first step into the next chapter of my life. I was born to help people. PERIOD. That is what God made me for. And I can not wait CAN NOT WAIT to see what He has in store for me. I can't wait to build relationships with people I don't even know yet. Because truly that's what life is all about right? Relationships.

I am so full of excitement to start this new journey! Who knew all I had to do was just take the first step?

Is there something you have been struggling with? Do you need to just take that first step into the next chapter of your life? Make that move! Stop that struggle!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Agree to Disagree

    Sometimes I don't always say things in a politically correct manner. Like last night during a small discussion on someones FB page about homosexuality. I was called heartless because I said I hope and pray my kids aren't gay. But, I also hope and pray my kids aren't drug addicts, alcoholics, or a gamet of other things. So I believe there to be no "discrimination" within the walls of my heart.

Dear Sir,

     If my kids came to me with any problem you would be a fool to think I would love them any less for ANY reason. You do not have kids yet so I don't expect you to understand the parental role. So I would like to explain something to you. I have every right to hope and pray my kids never have any extra struggles to deal with other than what life already has to offer. In fact, I see it as my job. The last few years I've had to deal with things I never dreamed would come my way. We are talking real pain, real suffering. Trust me when I say I know sometimes life sucks!

    I want you to know I have left a message with Chris Walker the guy in charge of the "letter to the editor" portion of the Emporia Gazette. I left a message for him saying I would like to write in a response to Joel Wessel's piece about "perversion". I told him I want to be polite and respectful in doing so and I also wanted to add some hotline numbers for those who might be in need of immediate assistance. I also asked what the guidelines were for writing in but I have not gotten a call back. I did it just as I told you I would. I am a woman of my word and regardless of what you think of my heart or lack there of, I ache for ANYONE who is hurting.

    I believe every human being was made for a purpose. I believe every human being is valuable to our world. I believe every human being is worthy of all good things. I believe the world is full of pain and sorrow. I believe people live in deep dark pits all alone searching for light. I believe if we as individuals don't start reaching down into that pit and lifting people up, this world will only grow darker and people more retched.

    I do not believe it is the job of the newspaper editor nor the job of the news anchor, unless on personal time if they so choose. I believe it's your job and it's mine.

    Best wishes to you and yours, Cheri Nace

                                                              HOTLINE NUMBERS

GLBT   1-800-850-8078


SUICIDE PREVENTION    1-800-273-8255

HOMELESS/RUNAWAY   1-800-231-6946

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE   1-800-799-7233



MENTAL HEALTH   1-800-447-4474