I'm sitting here reading the first part of this chapter, the part where she is having a nightmare about being diagnosed with cancer, and the way she describes it sends chills through. While she was birthing her 6, and cleaning floors, and kissing their daddy this cancer was taking over her body.
And it got me to thinking, what if? What if that's happening to me right now? I do a lot of griping in this life to not know how many days I have left. And no one knows how much longer you get to live. No one but God.
I live somewhere in between living fully alive and living in nothingness.
Ann says, "IT'S THE IN BETWEEN THAT DRIVES US MAD."
She's right. It's the in between that leaves me always wanting more.
BUT...I am learning that it's joy I want. And Joy comes from giving thanks(eucharisteo).
Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy. Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy. Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy.
I keep thinking if I say it enough it might sink in.
I am reminded of some things I wrote awhile back, here and here.
Seems God has been stirring my soul about this for some time now. And now this book. All the stars are aligning. I love it when he does that. Thank you God.
Dear Heavenly Father, may we all open our eyes to see all the gifts you have given us. May we give thanks for them all. And Lord bring joy to our hearts. We are sorry for the things we do wrong; the selfishness, the anger that rises, and the many more. Please forgive us and help us open our eyes wide to beauty. Thank you for all you have given. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.