Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Day #30 has arrived...and I've learned a few things.

The eyes are the window to the soul. That's how the saying goes, right? I believe it.

I miss so many things that are right in front of me.

There is this woman who stands on the street corner. I've seen her there so many times before and my thought is 'If she spent the same time looking for a job as she does on this corner she might not be homeless.' Sounds harsh doesn't it? I've passed her by time after time never looking her in the eye.

At the stop light that seemed forever long I rolled down my window and gave her a $20. I ask her name and tell her I've passed her by many times- but no more. I look her in the eye and tell her I will pray. She believes in me and I in her. All by the look in the eye. I tell you this not to boast "oh look what I did." I tell you this because of a heart changed. This is what I saw....Jesus. It was him standing there looking for help. How many times has he watched me pass him by? My heart aches at the thought.

Time and time again I lose my way. I never understand how I get to this point but I ALWAYS get to this point. That place where you wonder where you're at. You do so good for awhile but sooner or later it all falls apart. That's where I was when I started this challenge. God...awake my soul. My soul felt dead. I have since figured out why. Because I failed to pray. No communication with God equals separation from God. Separation from God equals lonely.

I eventually gave up on prayer because praying is hard. It is not for the weak.

I was looking for joy. And I've learned that the JOY is in the journey. The journey lasts a lifetime and that lifetime can be all you want it to be. You just have to ask.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7: 7-8.

Why do I believe this? Why should you believe me? Because I did it...and He didn't fail me.

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law of the Prophets." Matthew 7: 9-12.

...and that is the answer to my question. "How do I make a difference in this world? How do I change the world?"

The 1st commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. The 2nd is to love thy neighbor as thy self. And that, is how you change the world. Love your neighbor as yourself.

This journey doesn't stop here. But will continue. Where the next thing is I don't know, but I do know this...this time-this time I'm staying alive. This time I'm staying awake...wide awake for the journey. This time I'm praying my butt off! Why? Because I am anything but weak.

My eyes are open Lord. Show me the way...

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