I'm not sure why the Lord is leading me to share this today. It has been written for some time now- saved away for a better time. I have been scared to share it. Afraid of what friends might think if they knew the person I was or the things I used to do. But God has a plan and today is the day.
I was at a Christian women's conference in 1999. My mother-in-law, Cheryl, had invited me to go. She wasn't my mother-in-law at the time but I am now blessed to be able to call her that.
I sat at the conference all day listening to people's testimonies. I cried a lot listening to all their stories, which weren't so different than mine. At the end of the conference they had a time for you to come forward if you wanted to ask Jesus into your heart. I wasn't sure what had came over me, but there I was walking down the LONG isle to the front. I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. I wanted forgiveness for all my sins. I wanted peace in my heart. I know now that it was the Holy Spirit that walked me down the isle because I am certain it was not me moving my legs. Thank you God! Oh, how I needed your help!
After the conference was over we headed back to Cheryl's house. I had planned on leaving from there right away to make the hour long drive to my house. I had plans with a couple of friends that night. We were going to be drinking and most likely, partaking in some sort of illegal drug. I was never an addict, but if God had not intervened when he did, I very well could have been.
But, what I hadn't planned on was asking Jesus into my heart earlier that day. I knew there was no way I could go home that night- so I asked Gary and Cheryl if I could stay at their house for the night. Of course, they said yes.
I didn't get much sleep that night. I was awake crying in the room. It was just me and God. I felt in my heart that I needed to confess every sin I could remember ever committing. I hungered for that forgiveness. I wanted peace in my heart.
The next morning I felt so good- though my eyes were almost swollen shut from all the tears. I ate breakfast and headed home. I went straight to my friends' house. The ones I was supposed to go partying with the night before. I sat on their front porch with them and told them that I had gotten saved last night. They looked at me like I was crazy. They said, " What does that mean?" I shared that I had asked Jesus into my heart as Lord and Savior of my life and that he had died on the cross as payment for all the things I had done wrong and that I was forgiven for all of it. They still thought I was crazy. They didn't understand what I was saying because they didn't have Jesus living in their hearts.
I went home and fell on the couch in despair. My friends thought I was crazy. I felt dejected and my joy for the Lord felt far away, as if it had left as quickly as it came. I remember sitting there on the couch with my arms folded and my head hung. I felt so alone.
Then, I tilted my head up and there on the wall was the shadow of a cross that was filtering in from a nearby window. I knew God had placed it there at that exact moment. My heart welled up with love for my God once again and my joy was brought back. In that very moment I knew that My God would never leave me. My God would never forsake me. He had seen what I had shared with my friends and wanted me to know that he was there, regardless of what they thought of me.
God can give you this same peace. All you have to do is accept his grace and love. Just believe in your heart that he died on the cross so that your sins would be remembered no more, and on the third day he rose from the grave and now sits at the right hand of the Father in heaven. He has risen to prepare a place for you and if he has risen to prepare a place for you then He will come back so that you may be where He is. If you feel Him tugging at your heart-- then don't waste another second. Just take that first step, believe in your heart and let the Lord do the rest.
Here is a song I found the other day. It speaks of a message very dear to my heart.
If you get nothing else from this-please get this...God can change people. I can testify to it. No matter the past- PEOPLE CAN CHANGE! Don't judge - just pray.
If there's someone out there ready to ask Jesus into their heart but you don't know how or what to do, email me at email@example.com and I will do my best to help you. If there is some one who needs prayer, if there is someone who needs to talk- I am here and more willing than you know.
PEOPLE CAN CHANGE!!!!!
Go see Amy for more beautiful songs, or also here for more stories of signs, miracles, and wonders!