Monday, May 23, 2011

It's only one day

I'm sitting here thinking to myself it's only one day. May 23rd, my daughter's 15th birthday.

It was no fun when we went shopping for her. I had a lady working at AE come up to me and ask what I was looking for. Nothing in particular was my response but she kept prodding till I finally told her a gift for my daughter who's turning 15. To make a long story short that is when the experience went down hill.

What I wanted to tell the lady is this, " Could you please just leave me alone. My girl no longer lives with us. She lives with someone who didn't raise her. Someone who has missed birthdays without calling, months with out calling, and many times not even a card was sent. So honestly lady, it would do me good if you'd get out of my face and go help someone who wants it." But I didn't say it. I bit my tongue. No reason to ruin her day.

What was going through my mind was all that I'll miss at this age. Like teaching her to drive and handing over the keys to her first car. Her first date. Helping her get her first job. Taking her to pick out a dress for the school dance. And her friends...I'm missing them too. Her graduation isn't far off with time moving so fast.

Sometimes I even wonder if I'll get to help pick out her wedding dress, though I know that one is a long way off. But most of the time I wonder why God would choose to give us this girl to raise and then at the most crucial time take her away and hand her over to someone who didn't do all the work. I know there is a reason.

It's your birthday and I have to keep telling myself, "It's only one day, just one day in this life on earth. It's just one day." And I thank God that his mercies are new every morning. And I thank God that someday I'll be singing his praises forever. FOREVER. And today is just one day.

I love you Dallas, my first true love. I miss you. Happy 15th birthday.

Pause music to the right first.

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