I laid in bed this morninig crying for a boy Nick, who has brain cancer. Then , when I was done crying and praying for him, I thanked God for my healthy children. I once again became keenly aware of the type of mother I am.
I am rigid. The military sargeant type. I always want things in their place and I want my kids to mind. I don't want them to ask me questions they already know the answer to, because why waste time talking about it if you already know the answer? I like peace and quiet and order. How's that for my mom abilities? Pretty frightening, right?
We recently returned from vacation, which I hope to post some pics of soon. We had so much fun. The military mom was replaced by a mom who wanted to have fun with her kids. No worries just plain old fashioned fun!
Why can't I be like that at home? Why do I jump down my kids' throats for asking a simple question?
All I want is to play out in the rain with the kids and not care that there will be a puddle of water on the floor when we come in.
All I want is to be able to let the kids play in the house with friends and not care that the toys are everywhere. I act as if the house will never get back to its original state, even though I know it will.
All I want is to take the time to enjoy my kids while I can. But WHY is that so hard for me?
Why am I as rigid as a board?
Thank you, Lord for my healthy kids. Help me to enjoy them before it's too late! Help me to lose control. I'm tired of the anxious thoughts that roam in my head. Help me to let go. In Jesus' name, and all according to your will, Amen