Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Never too late...

Dreams sometimes just lie flat and die. Don't they? Don't get me wrong I love the life God has given me. This piece of the world he chose for me. My husband and kids are my life!

But let's face it, sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would.

 I was 20 and found myself pregnant and ALONE. A place where many young women find themselves these days. I've wondered for the last 15 years now why I made the choices I did. Why didn't I respect myself enough not to have sex before marriage? Why didn't I believe I was worth it all when I chose to do that drug or drink before I should've? Was I really just being a kid or did I not have a dream-- something that was bigger than myself.

Finally after all this time... I DIDN'T HAVE A DREAM. I was just living life for all it was back then. I was in it for me.

I'm starting to think that's what happens to most of our young girls that wind up pregnant. They just don't have a dream or they are too scared to try. Easier not try than to fail and possibly disappoint.

Maybe I actually did have a dream back then but it was just sleeping quietly in the shadows of my heart. Whether you are young or happens. The dream dying slow and deliberate. It is deliberate.

What if you had taken that step crossing the threshold of fear?  But instead you worry about what people might think of this crazy dream. So you stop dead in your tracks, you don't move, and it slowly fades into darkness. Life takes over, some get pregnant and some just settle for less than what their heart desires, and that dream it shrinks smaller and smaller til you believe you didn't have a dream somewhere in your soul to start with.

I've lived that dreamless life now for 35 years. Please remember I love my life I just have a longing in my soul. Do you feel that too?  I think God is bringing mine to the surface, shedding light in the corners. I'll share it with you some day. But what a shame to live this long and not be living my dream. But, better late than never, right?

My daughter is 14 and at that age where she thinks she knows everything and life doesn't go beyond this moment. I guess that's why I'm thinking about all this now. Hoping she has a dream and that I do everything I can to help her take the steps to fulfill that dream. Back her 100% no matter the dream because the dream is ALWAYS better than the alternative.

 So I ask her...she wants to be a police officer. She's been saying that for 2 years now- so can I just say YIKES!!  :) Why that, I ask? "I want to help people and do what I want to be doing all at the same time."

Help people...isn't that what we all really want to do?

I hope this dream stays alive in these next few years of high school and beyond. I hope she never forgets it. I hope she takes that step forward through her fear when the time is right.

 Until then................ I hope that dream roars like a lion in her soul.

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