I'm sitting here reading the first part of this chapter, the part where she is having a nightmare about being diagnosed with cancer, and the way she describes it sends chills through. While she was birthing her 6, and cleaning floors, and kissing their daddy this cancer was taking over her body.
And it got me to thinking, what if? What if that's happening to me right now? I do a lot of griping in this life to not know how many days I have left. And no one knows how much longer you get to live. No one but God.
I live somewhere in between living fully alive and living in nothingness.
Ann says, "IT'S THE IN BETWEEN THAT DRIVES US MAD."
She's right. It's the in between that leaves me always wanting more.
BUT...I am learning that it's joy I want. And Joy comes from giving thanks(eucharisteo).
Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy. Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy. Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy.
I keep thinking if I say it enough it might sink in.
I am reminded of some things I wrote awhile back, here and here.
Seems God has been stirring my soul about this for some time now. And now this book. All the stars are aligning. I love it when he does that. Thank you God.
Dear Heavenly Father, may we all open our eyes to see all the gifts you have given us. May we give thanks for them all. And Lord bring joy to our hearts. We are sorry for the things we do wrong; the selfishness, the anger that rises, and the many more. Please forgive us and help us open our eyes wide to beauty. Thank you for all you have given. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
I Can't Breathe
This morning my oldest son decides he hates trying out these contacts. He wants his glasses and where are they? It's been three weeks and we haven't gotten them yet. There is no time. I feel like a bad mom.
My youngest son has some eye issue going on for two months now. It just won't clear up. He woke up this morning with the same red eye after I thought it was finally gone. I called the eye Dr. and he gives me new drops. This is the 4th one.
One phone call this afternoon. That's all it takes for the fear to rise. I'm in the middle of the grocery store and she tells me she's the nurse from the high school. Dallas has collapsed at school. She got dizzy and down she went. Had to have help to get to the nurse and she asks if she is hypoglycemic. I tell her no but that she has Celiac Disease and it can cause all sorts of problems. She asks if she can give Dallas ibuprofen for her headache as she hit her head on a chair and has two big bumps. I talk to Dallas and she says is fine now. Had I known all the story then I'd have picked her up from school and taken her to the Dr. immediately. More blood tests, more needles. She is prepared.
I'm taking the meat off of a chicken and give the wishbone to my 5 year old to do with his brother, he drops it on the floor and the dog gets it. I try but can't get it from the dog and he swallows it whole. I call the vet and he tells me what to do and what to watch for.
And I think again about Dallas. And it's this. All that I can think about. Fear grips me tight like a noose around my neck. I can't breathe. I go outside and I suck in the cold air deep. Breathe. I am not in control. I am not in control.
Then I hear the melody of a birds song. What used to be background noise is now music to my ears. And it reminds me...
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? - Matthew 6:26-27
God is in control. Easy to say. Sometimes so hard to believe.
My youngest son has some eye issue going on for two months now. It just won't clear up. He woke up this morning with the same red eye after I thought it was finally gone. I called the eye Dr. and he gives me new drops. This is the 4th one.
One phone call this afternoon. That's all it takes for the fear to rise. I'm in the middle of the grocery store and she tells me she's the nurse from the high school. Dallas has collapsed at school. She got dizzy and down she went. Had to have help to get to the nurse and she asks if she is hypoglycemic. I tell her no but that she has Celiac Disease and it can cause all sorts of problems. She asks if she can give Dallas ibuprofen for her headache as she hit her head on a chair and has two big bumps. I talk to Dallas and she says is fine now. Had I known all the story then I'd have picked her up from school and taken her to the Dr. immediately. More blood tests, more needles. She is prepared.
I'm taking the meat off of a chicken and give the wishbone to my 5 year old to do with his brother, he drops it on the floor and the dog gets it. I try but can't get it from the dog and he swallows it whole. I call the vet and he tells me what to do and what to watch for.
And I think again about Dallas. And it's this. All that I can think about. Fear grips me tight like a noose around my neck. I can't breathe. I go outside and I suck in the cold air deep. Breathe. I am not in control. I am not in control.
Then I hear the melody of a birds song. What used to be background noise is now music to my ears. And it reminds me...
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? - Matthew 6:26-27
God is in control. Easy to say. Sometimes so hard to believe.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Week One: One Thousand gifts
Seems we all have things that brand our lives, don't we? Things that we never forget. And regardless of time spent thinking on it and thinking of it, trying hard to move passed; it's never gonna go away. That is life. A very harsh reality.
I have followed Ann's blog for years and never knew this was all part of her story. Not until I began to read the pages did I ask myself...how in the world has she moved passed all this-darkness? It wasn't 'in the world' that she got through it, but in Christ Jesus. That's how.
Not too long ago I met with an old friend to catch up. She told me about some very serious marriage problems she is having. After listening to her I recall saying, with tears running down my cheeks, "I have been in some very dark places in my life. And it's in those places that you learn to love the light."
THANK GOD there is light even in darkness. But, what Ann says is true, it is a choice. God always leaves it a choice.
After all, he is a God of love not a God of force. He waits for you to call him. He waits for YOUR love. Seek him.
Thank God there is light somewhere in this black hole.
That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart aching beauty beyond. ~Ann Voskamp
This is my prayer for all of us-
Dear God,
I pray each one of us reaches for you, that you are the one we seek in time of need, in time of crisis, and in times of darkness. There is so much darkness Lord. I pray we seek the light that is you. And you are faithful God. You are always there. May we feel that deep inside today Lord. Carry us till we can put one foot in front of the other again. Forgive us when we desperately try on our own. Thank you for who you are...The Everlasting Faithful God. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.
I have followed Ann's blog for years and never knew this was all part of her story. Not until I began to read the pages did I ask myself...how in the world has she moved passed all this-darkness? It wasn't 'in the world' that she got through it, but in Christ Jesus. That's how.
Not too long ago I met with an old friend to catch up. She told me about some very serious marriage problems she is having. After listening to her I recall saying, with tears running down my cheeks, "I have been in some very dark places in my life. And it's in those places that you learn to love the light."
THANK GOD there is light even in darkness. But, what Ann says is true, it is a choice. God always leaves it a choice.
After all, he is a God of love not a God of force. He waits for you to call him. He waits for YOUR love. Seek him.
Thank God there is light somewhere in this black hole.
That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart aching beauty beyond. ~Ann Voskamp
This is my prayer for all of us-
Dear God,
I pray each one of us reaches for you, that you are the one we seek in time of need, in time of crisis, and in times of darkness. There is so much darkness Lord. I pray we seek the light that is you. And you are faithful God. You are always there. May we feel that deep inside today Lord. Carry us till we can put one foot in front of the other again. Forgive us when we desperately try on our own. Thank you for who you are...The Everlasting Faithful God. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Beauty
Of all the things the eye can see
when you go for a walk
In search of beauty...
to see the wonder of it all
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The start of 1000 Gifts Book Club
Okay there are still a few that haven't signed up for a google account so they can leave comments. It's easy. Go down a couple of posts and there is directions for you there. You can also leave comments anonymously(just type your name at the end of your comment so we know who wrote it) if you'd rather do it that way instead of signing up with google. But, all you really need to sign up with google is a username (email address) and a password. Once you get signed up leave me a comment.
Let's start today ladies. I've been waiting to dive in! I say we read a chapter a week and I'll post something here about each chapter every Monday. Next Monday will be the first post on the book-not tomorrow. When I do that I'll leave a link on FB just like I did this one. Please do comment on the posts here about anything you were thinking about while reading it. You never know what might help someone else.
Little things matter.
So, grab those Bibles and the One Thousand Gifts and I'll leave you with these thoughts:
What Will Today Bring?
This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important, because I am
exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,
Leaving in its place something I traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss;
Good, not evil;
Success, not failure,
In order that I shall never regret the price I paid for it.
~Author Unknown
So....
I dare you to get your highlighters out.
I dare you to mark what jumps off the pages.
I dare you to fall to pieces here.
I dare you to pick yourself back up.
I dare you to let the world SEE who you are.
I dare you to be changed.
I dare you to tell the story only you can tell.
...because everyone has a story and your story might just save someone else's life.
In the midst of it all, may we find joy. It's time to love God in a whole new way.
Dear God,
Help us to SEE the world around us no matter how beautiful or ugly. And help us to give thanks for it all. In Jesus' name, Amen
Let's start today ladies. I've been waiting to dive in! I say we read a chapter a week and I'll post something here about each chapter every Monday. Next Monday will be the first post on the book-not tomorrow. When I do that I'll leave a link on FB just like I did this one. Please do comment on the posts here about anything you were thinking about while reading it. You never know what might help someone else.
Little things matter.
So, grab those Bibles and the One Thousand Gifts and I'll leave you with these thoughts:
What Will Today Bring?
This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important, because I am
exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,
Leaving in its place something I traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss;
Good, not evil;
Success, not failure,
In order that I shall never regret the price I paid for it.
~Author Unknown
So....
I dare you to get your highlighters out.
I dare you to mark what jumps off the pages.
I dare you to fall to pieces here.
I dare you to pick yourself back up.
I dare you to let the world SEE who you are.
I dare you to be changed.
I dare you to tell the story only you can tell.
...because everyone has a story and your story might just save someone else's life.
In the midst of it all, may we find joy. It's time to love God in a whole new way.
Dear God,
Help us to SEE the world around us no matter how beautiful or ugly. And help us to give thanks for it all. In Jesus' name, Amen
Thursday, January 20, 2011
All The Things A Smile Can Say
I recently helped my mom move my grama into a nursing home. That's never an easy thing to do. We were sitting in the dining room of the assisted living facility we were moving her out of. My grama and her best friend were sitting across the table. Plates of goulash and corn sat in front of us and the task at hand loomed in the air.
I look up from my plate just in time to notice an exchange between grama and her friend Carmen. These women are old and their lives have been full of joy and sorrow. Carmen looks at grama and smiles with a smile that says, "how am I going to make it here without you?" Grama smiles back and grabs her hand, "How am I going to live there without you?"Over my plate of goulash and corn, my eyes brim over with tears and all I can think is WHY? Why does life have to be full of goodbyes?
This morning I pushed back the curtains to see all the snow that had fallen gently at night while I slept. The memory of their smiles to each other comes to mind as I watch the snow sparkle in the morning light. It saddened my heart and I wondered why again, that life is full of goodbyes? That's when the memory of their smiles, which is burned into my mind, ignited a thought deep in my soul...
Love is beautiful.Join us @
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Getting ready for: 1000 GIFTS!
Okay lets all get signed up so you can leave comments. As far as I know you can write as much as you want in the comment section. Click the comment button after this post to figure it out! I've left a comment for you...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
FB book study
I preordered this book over a month ago. One Thousand Gifts: A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp. I read her blog every morning. Ann gives me fresh thought for the day; a sense that all is really well no matter what. She has a gift. A GIFT! Her words make my spine straighten and shoulders push back so I can take a deep breath.That's what she can do with God. Help you breathe.
This is the book I would love to do an FB Bible study on. I'm not sure I could even call it a Bible study but a getting together and discussing how the book is changing us. And there is NO DOUBT this book will change us. No doubt this book will make us better. I already know thanksgiving will get me there. I just need someone to show me the way.
The book will be released in the next week or so, so there's still time. Order today and we'll begin reading soon. I'll keep you posted. Thinking we will read a chapter or so a week (if we can read that little at a time?) and then discuss it here on my blog. You'll have to set up an account to leave your thoughts after my posts, and I'll leave a link through FB. Push the comment button below and set up an account today!
I KNOW you won't be disappointed. Ann Voskamp is a gift from God...Order it today and let me know if you're in!
This is the book I would love to do an FB Bible study on. I'm not sure I could even call it a Bible study but a getting together and discussing how the book is changing us. And there is NO DOUBT this book will change us. No doubt this book will make us better. I already know thanksgiving will get me there. I just need someone to show me the way.
The book will be released in the next week or so, so there's still time. Order today and we'll begin reading soon. I'll keep you posted. Thinking we will read a chapter or so a week (if we can read that little at a time?) and then discuss it here on my blog. You'll have to set up an account to leave your thoughts after my posts, and I'll leave a link through FB. Push the comment button below and set up an account today!
I KNOW you won't be disappointed. Ann Voskamp is a gift from God...Order it today and let me know if you're in!
Friday, January 7, 2011
My Dear Friends...
I had made a comment about Jessica's celebration of life being refreshing. I almost deleted it several times hoping not to offend anyone. I mean who uses a word like that in a situation like that? Honestly it was the first word that came to mind so I wrote it.
REFRESHING: having the power to restore freshness, vitality, and energy
The word is a perfect description of Jess' celebration!!!
While I have you here I also wanted to share a devotional I had written a couple of years ago. It's my butterfly story.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Ecc. 3:11
Whenever I hear this verse I am taken back to the far corners of my mind, to that place where all my memories lie.
We found one that was spectacular. Of course, the realtor was right there when we were getting the information on the houses out of the mailbox. We talked for a bit and then he wanted to show us this house that was only studded at that point. We looked at the house with him and then headed back out towards the car. As we were walking we were talking to this realtor and the whole time this was going on I could hear Dallas saying, "Mom...Mom...look at this!"
At this point I am getting really annoyed because I'm thinking how rude is this girl. Here I am trying to have a conversation with this man and she just keeps saying, "Mom..Mom...look at this!" So, I finally jerked my head around and in total irritation, hollered--"WHAT!!"
She had her hands cupped and with this huge smile on her face said, "Watch this."
Dallas opened up her hands and out flew the most beautiful butterfly I had ever seen. It was cobalt blue and it just fluttered around our faces for a few seconds and then flew off. It was breathtaking. I knew God had given that moment to me and Dallas. Something special for the two of us to share.
God does that, you know. Gives us special moments. Most of the time( like me) we don't take the time to notice them. I am so very glad that Dallas was persistent. And, I am so thankful that she is the type of person that "stops and smells the roses."
I learned some things that day.
-God gives us children to teach us how simple life can be
AND
After a short time I decided I'd go to dictionary.com just to see the actual definition of the word refreshing. This is what it said:
REFRESHING: having the power to restore freshness, vitality, and energy
The word is a perfect description of Jess' celebration!!!
While I have you here I also wanted to share a devotional I had written a couple of years ago. It's my butterfly story.
A Moment I Won't Forget
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Ecc. 3:11
Whenever I hear this verse I am taken back to the far corners of my mind, to that place where all my memories lie.
We lived in Georgia and one of me and Kyle's favorite things to do was to go check out new houses. The Atlanta suburbs are full of new construction. The kids didn't like this much because we could spend all day out there on the open road, stopping at any new subdivisions we came across.
We found one that was spectacular. Of course, the realtor was right there when we were getting the information on the houses out of the mailbox. We talked for a bit and then he wanted to show us this house that was only studded at that point. We looked at the house with him and then headed back out towards the car. As we were walking we were talking to this realtor and the whole time this was going on I could hear Dallas saying, "Mom...Mom...look at this!"
At this point I am getting really annoyed because I'm thinking how rude is this girl. Here I am trying to have a conversation with this man and she just keeps saying, "Mom..Mom...look at this!" So, I finally jerked my head around and in total irritation, hollered--"WHAT!!"
She had her hands cupped and with this huge smile on her face said, "Watch this."
Dallas opened up her hands and out flew the most beautiful butterfly I had ever seen. It was cobalt blue and it just fluttered around our faces for a few seconds and then flew off. It was breathtaking. I knew God had given that moment to me and Dallas. Something special for the two of us to share.
God does that, you know. Gives us special moments. Most of the time( like me) we don't take the time to notice them. I am so very glad that Dallas was persistent. And, I am so thankful that she is the type of person that "stops and smells the roses."
I learned some things that day.
-God gives us children to teach us how simple life can be
AND
-The Earth is filled with His glory!
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Ecc. 3:11
I always think of butterflies when I hear that verse. And you all- He WILL make everything beautiful again! Just don't be afraid to open up your wings and fly.
Love, Cheri
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
On to the New Year
Christmas came quick this year. The day moved slow and easy, long and deliberate, just the way I like it. And now the new year is upon us; 365 more days to live -hopefully. What will we do with them?
Job 19:25-27 says this:
I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
I myself will see him
with my own eyes-I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!
Not that what I'm about to say has much to do with that verse necessarily...but it got me to thinking.
Seeing something with the eyes can make the soul break open wild. And wild, well that's kind of been what I've always been. God made me that way. I just used it for my purposes instead of his.
I don't believe God ever drew a line in the sand and said, "Don't cross this." But I do believe he drew that line just to see how far we might go for him. I have always chosen my own way. How about you? I wouldn't dare to put even a toe over to the wild side of God's dash and still here I sit questioning how to fully, wildly live. I'm convinced the only way to know...is to step over.
"I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey his voice, and that you may cling to him, for he is your life and the length of your days. Deuteronomy 30:19-20
Heavenly Father,
My next 365 days...Use me. There is no greater purpose in life. You are my creator and I am your masterpiece gently molded by your hands. The road has been long and rough. I chose not the direct path, but the long winding one with many forks, all because you created a wild soul within me. There was something for me to learn and I have learned it. You are my God and I have faith you will go with me. I am willing. My eyes are open, my ears are not deaf. I have no excuse. I am capable because you have made me that way. You are a powerful God. Please Lord, show me the way. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen
Here in the next year, this is how I will fully, wildly live- eyes aware of the world around me and ears listening to the voice of God.
How will you live wild?
Job 19:25-27 says this:
I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
I myself will see him
with my own eyes-I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!
Not that what I'm about to say has much to do with that verse necessarily...but it got me to thinking.
Seeing something with the eyes can make the soul break open wild. And wild, well that's kind of been what I've always been. God made me that way. I just used it for my purposes instead of his.
I don't believe God ever drew a line in the sand and said, "Don't cross this." But I do believe he drew that line just to see how far we might go for him. I have always chosen my own way. How about you? I wouldn't dare to put even a toe over to the wild side of God's dash and still here I sit questioning how to fully, wildly live. I'm convinced the only way to know...is to step over.
"I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey his voice, and that you may cling to him, for he is your life and the length of your days. Deuteronomy 30:19-20
Heavenly Father,
My next 365 days...Use me. There is no greater purpose in life. You are my creator and I am your masterpiece gently molded by your hands. The road has been long and rough. I chose not the direct path, but the long winding one with many forks, all because you created a wild soul within me. There was something for me to learn and I have learned it. You are my God and I have faith you will go with me. I am willing. My eyes are open, my ears are not deaf. I have no excuse. I am capable because you have made me that way. You are a powerful God. Please Lord, show me the way. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen
Here in the next year, this is how I will fully, wildly live- eyes aware of the world around me and ears listening to the voice of God.
How will you live wild?
Saturday, December 25, 2010
The Candle
The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2
JESUS
The last candle to be delivered tonight.
May His light shine forever in your hearts.
May His light shine forever in your hearts.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sweet Love
While it's still dark, he walks to the edge of the bed and searches out her face. He bends, and lightly brushes his lips on her cheek. He moves slowly to her ear and softly whispers, "I adore you" -then he turns towards the door for work that beckons.
Of all the words he's ever spoken to her, it's those three that keep coming back. Over and over again.
I love this man...
Of all the words he's ever spoken to her, it's those three that keep coming back. Over and over again.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Look
Love this photo! I don't think anyone else noticed what was going on but I am so happy I caught the moment forever. I clicked that button at just the right time.
I won't be there to see that one- but it'll be here before I know it. Until then- I'll love the innocence in this photo. It melts my heart. I love, love, love it!
Cooper slowly puts his arm around Mikah. She turns to him and says "what do you think you're doing?" To which Cooper just smiles. He doesn't say a word. He must be practicing for future years when he has his first real girlfriend. The look on Cooper's face is priceless to this mama's heart. I see it now, playing out just the same in about 10 years at a movie theater. That exact look as he shyly puts his arm around his girl.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Time is a wasting.
Old man winter reminds me...
I gaze out looking at the line where heaven meets dirt. The big orb shines light in the night sky and every detail is seen in every dead tree, every barn and silo outlined against the midnight blue and there is no other color. The world seems right with children giggling in the background as I notice all God's beauty in the shadows. The car moves fast and the landscape always changes and nothing stays the same. Time moves quickly and there's no grabbing on, no stopping father time.
Seems just yesterday I had my first pains and now have had two more since. The pain that lasts long and brings life. The pain that takes breath away only to witness a first breath taken. Yes, pain brings life in all situations.
Like Jesus dying on the cross. A painful death brings us life everlasting.
The Bible says...
-All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)
-But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
-For the wages of sin is DEATH, but the gift of God is eternal LIFE in Christ Jesus our Lord.(Roman 6:23)
-If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.(Romans 10:9)
-Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.(Romans 10:13)
Jesus...the only one to pay the price for our sin.
Your first breath brought you life here on Earth, let His last breath give you life eternal in heaven. After all, it is the reason he was born.
Weird sometimes to talk about life and death. But the crows feet and laugh lines no longer need a smile to appear. They are permanent reminders of the years gone by. Don't waste anymore time. Will you pick up your cross and follow him?
To see this hard to watch video first go to the sidebar to the right and pause music.
Before it's too late.
I gaze out looking at the line where heaven meets dirt. The big orb shines light in the night sky and every detail is seen in every dead tree, every barn and silo outlined against the midnight blue and there is no other color. The world seems right with children giggling in the background as I notice all God's beauty in the shadows. The car moves fast and the landscape always changes and nothing stays the same. Time moves quickly and there's no grabbing on, no stopping father time.
Seems just yesterday I had my first pains and now have had two more since. The pain that lasts long and brings life. The pain that takes breath away only to witness a first breath taken. Yes, pain brings life in all situations.
Like Jesus dying on the cross. A painful death brings us life everlasting.
The Bible says...
-All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)
-But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
-For the wages of sin is DEATH, but the gift of God is eternal LIFE in Christ Jesus our Lord.(Roman 6:23)
-If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.(Romans 10:9)
-Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.(Romans 10:13)
Jesus...the only one to pay the price for our sin.
Your first breath brought you life here on Earth, let His last breath give you life eternal in heaven. After all, it is the reason he was born.
Weird sometimes to talk about life and death. But the crows feet and laugh lines no longer need a smile to appear. They are permanent reminders of the years gone by. Don't waste anymore time. Will you pick up your cross and follow him?
To see this hard to watch video first go to the sidebar to the right and pause music.
Before it's too late.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Always learning something
I learned something tonight.
If you have something nice to say you shouldn't wait to say it.
It took days but I finally caught them at home...so I thought.
A woman answers and I tell her good evening and hand the candle over wishing Merry Christmas. I tell her I'm wondering if she has a marine in the family that visited her about a year ago. She says no but the lady that lived here before passed away in March and she moved in in June.
I catch my breath this is not how I thought it would go. I tell her "oh, I wanted to come by and just tell her the story of something that touched my heart when that marine was here on this porch." I stand there collecting my thoughts. Saddened I hadn't come by before to tell the woman about her grandson. Not that it would've drastically changed the woman's life if I'd told her sooner but I bet it would've lifted her spirit. I bet it would've made her feel good, a little less lonely perhaps. But, she is gone now.
If you have something nice to say, say it.
So I wish Merry Christmas to the woman at the door again and tell her I pray the light of Christ warms her heart tonight. She says thank you and as I turn to go I notice a tear in her eye. I think maybe she really needed this tonight and that is what I hope...but maybe she just noticed the tear in mine.
If you have something nice to say you shouldn't wait to say it.
It took days but I finally caught them at home...so I thought.
A woman answers and I tell her good evening and hand the candle over wishing Merry Christmas. I tell her I'm wondering if she has a marine in the family that visited her about a year ago. She says no but the lady that lived here before passed away in March and she moved in in June.
I catch my breath this is not how I thought it would go. I tell her "oh, I wanted to come by and just tell her the story of something that touched my heart when that marine was here on this porch." I stand there collecting my thoughts. Saddened I hadn't come by before to tell the woman about her grandson. Not that it would've drastically changed the woman's life if I'd told her sooner but I bet it would've lifted her spirit. I bet it would've made her feel good, a little less lonely perhaps. But, she is gone now.
If you have something nice to say, say it.
So I wish Merry Christmas to the woman at the door again and tell her I pray the light of Christ warms her heart tonight. She says thank you and as I turn to go I notice a tear in her eye. I think maybe she really needed this tonight and that is what I hope...but maybe she just noticed the tear in mine.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Hard to believe Jesus would do such a thing.
Sometimes it's just not easy.
If I could count the number of times I let Him go the shame would rise on my cheeks, burn red hot like crimson. Foolish girl I am day by day. He is there and he calls me back home.
Far fetched...that's what some might say about the idea of a man dying on the cross for them and then rising again to make a place. I have wondered myself. Here is what I have to say about that-
I am not who I used to be. A young girl with no dream to carry in her heart going down a path of destruction just waiting for the world to fall down around her, and it did.
Who I am now, after years of turning away and coming home again, a woman with a dream ready to take on the world for Christ.
I've spent years, 11 to be exact, walking around doing things on my own with a thought that wrestles constant. "Don't you know the way"...
It's hard to always have that nagging thought. The conscience that says I'm here waiting when you finally come to your senses. Yes, being a christian is hard. The Man upstairs NEVER lets go even if you think you want him to.
That's a tough spot to be in, isn't it? But, why would he let go?
God in the flesh...came down.
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death-
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
-Philippians 2:6-11
Why would he let me go? Beaten and bloody this man, my Lord, Jesus Christ hanging on a cross crying out in agony because of me and for me.
If I could count the number of times I let Him go the shame would rise on my cheeks, burn red hot like crimson. Foolish girl I am day by day. He is there and he calls me back home.
Far fetched...that's what some might say about the idea of a man dying on the cross for them and then rising again to make a place. I have wondered myself. Here is what I have to say about that-
I am not who I used to be. A young girl with no dream to carry in her heart going down a path of destruction just waiting for the world to fall down around her, and it did.
Who I am now, after years of turning away and coming home again, a woman with a dream ready to take on the world for Christ.
I've spent years, 11 to be exact, walking around doing things on my own with a thought that wrestles constant. "Don't you know the way"...
It's hard to always have that nagging thought. The conscience that says I'm here waiting when you finally come to your senses. Yes, being a christian is hard. The Man upstairs NEVER lets go even if you think you want him to.
That's a tough spot to be in, isn't it? But, why would he let go?
God in the flesh...came down.
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death-
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
-Philippians 2:6-11
Why would he let me go? Beaten and bloody this man, my Lord, Jesus Christ hanging on a cross crying out in agony because of me and for me.
So hard to believe a man would willingly take that on for me, a wretched sinner day by day. Yes, so hard to believe. A man born to die.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
The Marine
I pass the house everyday on my way home. The scene played out as I drove by maybe 30 seconds tops. It's burned into my memory for well over a year.
A marine fully dressed with white hat and white gloves standing on the porch of his Grandma and Grandpa. He opens the door for them and waits for each to sit before he does. There on the front porch in the beautiful summertime sat this marine straight up and down erect back not touching the chair behind him as he visited.
I remember passing thinking how proud they must be of this man and as I drove by my softened bones grew rigid-proud to be an American. I think about that moment all the time. I don't know why. I remember thinking I too would want to sit on the porch show him off proud. So tonight I will deliver 'the Light of the world candle' to those grandparents and tell them what I saw and how it made me feel. I want them to know.
I pray for that proud marine today. I know not where he is or what he might be doing - but I still see him marine tall.
A marine fully dressed with white hat and white gloves standing on the porch of his Grandma and Grandpa. He opens the door for them and waits for each to sit before he does. There on the front porch in the beautiful summertime sat this marine straight up and down erect back not touching the chair behind him as he visited.
I remember passing thinking how proud they must be of this man and as I drove by my softened bones grew rigid-proud to be an American. I think about that moment all the time. I don't know why. I remember thinking I too would want to sit on the porch show him off proud. So tonight I will deliver 'the Light of the world candle' to those grandparents and tell them what I saw and how it made me feel. I want them to know.
I pray for that proud marine today. I know not where he is or what he might be doing - but I still see him marine tall.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD IS COMING
Some don't feel the eager anticipation of Christmas. For whatever reason they hurt and have shadowy places in their heart. They don't see the light coming in the distance. I say we don't just wait for Grace to come. I say we bring some of that light to the world. Would you like to join me?
Each night December 1st-25th knock on a door, light a candle, and give it away. Pray the light of Christ will warm their heart tonight.
Is anyone else in?
If you hear a knock, answer that door. The Light is coming! Can you feel it? Can you see it? Christ is coming; the Light of the world is on His way...
The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.---Isaiah 9:2 it goes on to say in verses 6&7...
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
I am 100% EXPECTING God to show up! Want to join?
Each night December 1st-25th knock on a door, light a candle, and give it away. Pray the light of Christ will warm their heart tonight.
Is anyone else in?
If you hear a knock, answer that door. The Light is coming! Can you feel it? Can you see it? Christ is coming; the Light of the world is on His way...
The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.---Isaiah 9:2 it goes on to say in verses 6&7...
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
I am 100% EXPECTING God to show up! Want to join?
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Never too late...
Dreams sometimes just lie flat and die. Don't they? Don't get me wrong I love the life God has given me. This piece of the world he chose for me. My husband and kids are my life!
But let's face it, sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would.
I was 20 and found myself pregnant and ALONE. A place where many young women find themselves these days. I've wondered for the last 15 years now why I made the choices I did. Why didn't I respect myself enough not to have sex before marriage? Why didn't I believe I was worth it all when I chose to do that drug or drink before I should've? Was I really just being a kid or did I not have a dream-- something that was bigger than myself.
Finally after all this time... I DIDN'T HAVE A DREAM. I was just living life for all it was back then. I was in it for me.
I'm starting to think that's what happens to most of our young girls that wind up pregnant. They just don't have a dream or they are too scared to try. Easier not try than to fail and possibly disappoint.
Maybe I actually did have a dream back then but it was just sleeping quietly in the shadows of my heart. Whether you are young or old...it happens. The dream dying slow and deliberate. It is deliberate.
What if you had taken that step crossing the threshold of fear? But instead you worry about what people might think of this crazy dream. So you stop dead in your tracks, you don't move, and it slowly fades into darkness. Life takes over, some get pregnant and some just settle for less than what their heart desires, and that dream it shrinks smaller and smaller til you believe you didn't have a dream somewhere in your soul to start with.
I've lived that dreamless life now for 35 years. Please remember I love my life I just have a longing in my soul. Do you feel that too? I think God is bringing mine to the surface, shedding light in the corners. I'll share it with you some day. But what a shame to live this long and not be living my dream. But, better late than never, right?
My daughter is 14 and at that age where she thinks she knows everything and life doesn't go beyond this moment. I guess that's why I'm thinking about all this now. Hoping she has a dream and that I do everything I can to help her take the steps to fulfill that dream. Back her 100% no matter the dream because the dream is ALWAYS better than the alternative.
So I ask her...she wants to be a police officer. She's been saying that for 2 years now- so can I just say YIKES!! :) Why that, I ask? "I want to help people and do what I want to be doing all at the same time."
Help people...isn't that what we all really want to do?
I hope this dream stays alive in these next few years of high school and beyond. I hope she never forgets it. I hope she takes that step forward through her fear when the time is right.
Until then................ I hope that dream roars like a lion in her soul.
But let's face it, sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would.
I was 20 and found myself pregnant and ALONE. A place where many young women find themselves these days. I've wondered for the last 15 years now why I made the choices I did. Why didn't I respect myself enough not to have sex before marriage? Why didn't I believe I was worth it all when I chose to do that drug or drink before I should've? Was I really just being a kid or did I not have a dream-- something that was bigger than myself.
Finally after all this time... I DIDN'T HAVE A DREAM. I was just living life for all it was back then. I was in it for me.
I'm starting to think that's what happens to most of our young girls that wind up pregnant. They just don't have a dream or they are too scared to try. Easier not try than to fail and possibly disappoint.
Maybe I actually did have a dream back then but it was just sleeping quietly in the shadows of my heart. Whether you are young or old...it happens. The dream dying slow and deliberate. It is deliberate.
What if you had taken that step crossing the threshold of fear? But instead you worry about what people might think of this crazy dream. So you stop dead in your tracks, you don't move, and it slowly fades into darkness. Life takes over, some get pregnant and some just settle for less than what their heart desires, and that dream it shrinks smaller and smaller til you believe you didn't have a dream somewhere in your soul to start with.
I've lived that dreamless life now for 35 years. Please remember I love my life I just have a longing in my soul. Do you feel that too? I think God is bringing mine to the surface, shedding light in the corners. I'll share it with you some day. But what a shame to live this long and not be living my dream. But, better late than never, right?
My daughter is 14 and at that age where she thinks she knows everything and life doesn't go beyond this moment. I guess that's why I'm thinking about all this now. Hoping she has a dream and that I do everything I can to help her take the steps to fulfill that dream. Back her 100% no matter the dream because the dream is ALWAYS better than the alternative.
So I ask her...she wants to be a police officer. She's been saying that for 2 years now- so can I just say YIKES!! :) Why that, I ask? "I want to help people and do what I want to be doing all at the same time."
Help people...isn't that what we all really want to do?
I hope this dream stays alive in these next few years of high school and beyond. I hope she never forgets it. I hope she takes that step forward through her fear when the time is right.
Until then................ I hope that dream roars like a lion in her soul.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Veteran's Day 2010
On this Veteran's Day I am taken back to 2 memories. The first- Going to Grama's house and selling poppies at the Veteran's Day parade every year. I had so much fun.
The second- Visiting my sister and her husband Marc who lived on base in Georgia. Everynight at 10 pm we went outside and listened to the buglar play taps. A very humbling experience. Never went back in without a tear in my eye.
Today reminds me of a poster I read just last night:
Winners are those who chose to do what noone else wants to do.
Thank you to all those who have and are serving in the military. You are all winners. Your sacrifice is not forgotten by this American. And sis-I know how much you have sacrificed too. I love you. You are a beautiful soul.
This is Shantel and Marc minutes before he left for his latest tour in Iraq. God bless you.
I pledge alligiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
The second- Visiting my sister and her husband Marc who lived on base in Georgia. Everynight at 10 pm we went outside and listened to the buglar play taps. A very humbling experience. Never went back in without a tear in my eye.
Today reminds me of a poster I read just last night:
Winners are those who chose to do what noone else wants to do.
Thank you to all those who have and are serving in the military. You are all winners. Your sacrifice is not forgotten by this American. And sis-I know how much you have sacrificed too. I love you. You are a beautiful soul.
This is Shantel and Marc minutes before he left for his latest tour in Iraq. God bless you.
I pledge alligiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
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