Pass the salt, please!

Found

2011-08-22T08:22:00.001-05:00

...a girl who came to her senses and wanted to come home where she belongs!

And as she started her first day back at school this morning, I am thankful.

We continue to need prayer but I still believe that God can and will make all things new. :)

What they see

2011-07-22T16:07:00.001-05:00

I put my camera in the hands of my boys today. What is it they find beautiful? I don't know why I'm surprised at what intrigues their individual soul. A true reflection of their personalities...

Seems Cooper likes that which grows wild and free!

And Justin likes that which runs deep, is strong, and stands alone. The road less traveled...

As we go along I remind them of how God created everything and if we open our eyes to see the beauty, we'll notice it's already been framed up. And we are smack dab in the middle of every beautiful canvas...

And everything is a gift from God

with his personal signature on every magnificent piece!

post inspired by Ann Voskamp

What's next?

2011-07-07T10:24:00.000-05:00

Thank God every morning when you get up, that you have something to do that day which must be done… ~Charles Kingsley

This is what I grasp for this morning...something that must be done. I find myself on most days spending my time searching for something that MUST be done besides laundry, dishes, or vacuuming. I mean isn't there something more important than this that I need to tend to?

I grasp for time passed, 4 or 5 years ago back to a time when we were all together. But time once laid down can not rise again. It is the one impossible. And I am struggling to find ways to fill my time so I live a life with no regret.

Time is the only infinite... but once gone, it's gone.

It is Time

2011-06-21T08:10:00.002-05:00

Dear Dallas,
I hope that somehow your eyes feast upon these lines and that you read them over and over and over. This is my heart. I've spent days wondering why things happened as they have questioning God, "Why us?"

I'm not asking him that anymore. I'm letting my mind lead the rest of me now.

I pull out my journal from years back and this is what I read. "I am so excited. We just found out that Dallas asked Jesus into her heart at Awana's last Wed. January 16, 2002. What a great day! Thank you Lord- You are so awesome. Lord, I ask that you might keep at Dallas' heart as she grows so that you might grow in her. She needs to know that she is saved. I pray that she will always listen and obey you. Lord you are mighty and you never cease to amaze me. It is so wonderful to know there is a God and to have a relationship with you. I have faith in you Lord that you can do wonderous miracles. God you are so awesome. My daughter's life has been saved by Jesus. How wonderful are your works! Make me whole in your love. I want nothing more than to know you. I can't seem to express my feelings. It seems no matter what I write or say, it's just not enough. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It's so great to know my daughter will be with you in heaven."

There is no doubt of that in my mind. In fact, 4 or 5 years later, God used you to lead your oldest brother to the Lord. We were sitting on the couch, just the three of us and you started talking to Justin about Jesus and how he died on the cross so that he would be forgiven of all he had done wrong. I jumped in with you and the next thing you know, Justin will be in heaven with us someday too. I can never thank you enough for starting that conversation, as your brother may have not done it at any other time. Do you have any idea how awesome that is? God used you to get someone else to heaven! What a priviledge. You were always so bold about your faith when you were younger. You even got the neighbors praying before their meals, and at school you would pray at the table before lunch where people would join you. Such great boldness!

So right now here in this time we are in, this is how my mind is leading...

You went from our house, a place where God is known, to a place where God is not known. Your Dad has not asked Jesus into his heart. Let me boldly say this to you Dallas, we both know the ONLY way to heaven is to believe that Jesus died on the cross as payment for your sin and that he rose on the third day to prepare a place for those who believe. You might just be the only love of Jesus they see. It is time to get to work my love. It is time to reach deep and find that boldness again. Speak to them about the love of Jesus. Ask them to take you to church. It is time...this may be the only chance to have your dad in heaven with you someday. Right now, nothing else matters but this. It's the least I can do to share you for such a great task. God has plans and they never fail. Please find that voice soon, get the job done so you can come home where you belong. I will pray everyday that you are strong and you find your boldness so your dad and his family have a chance to know the Lord.

You are special. You are chosen.

All my love always,
Mom

He will not delay

2011-06-09T14:59:00.001-05:00

A couple of nights ago I spent hours listening to the whirl of the ceiling fan and I cried. Just broken. I started thinking of my girl riding her little motorized 4 wheeler in the backyard with her blonde bouncing curls so many years ago, big smile on her face. And the time her dad (the one that raised her) took the training wheels off her bike and taught her to ride it without them. A lifetime of memories flooded my mind. And as the pillow soaked up my tears I prayed for her and begged God to make me whole again.

The next day the boys and I were running errands, me with my headache from a night of crying and still in a somber mood. That's when God got my attention, just to say "don't forget who I am and what I can do."

We were driving along listening to KLOVE. This song was playing... go ahead and start listening to it if you'd like but you may have to pause the music to the right first.

So we're driving along at 45 mph when a bird starts flying next to my window for a few seconds and then lands on it. He just sits there at 45 mph till we get to our destination where I am able to stop and snap a picture on my camera phone. I'm telling you that bird sat there for 4 blocks staring me right in the eye everytime I looked at it. And this came to mind instantly

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?
Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Luke 12:6-7

And reading this this morning just drove it all home. Something my heart knows full well but my mind forgets...

..."there is nothing you can want, there is nothing you can ask for,

there is nothing you can need in time or in eternity,

there is nothing living, nothing dying,

there is nothing in this world, nothing in the next world,

there is nothing now, nothing at the resurrection-morning,

nothing in heaven

which is not contained in this text —

“I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

~Charles Spurgeon

My God did not delay.

The days of glory

2011-06-06T08:44:00.001-05:00

These are the glory days. That's what I thought last weekend on the way to Justin's baseball tournament. The sun was dawning as we were coming into downtown Kansas City that morning. The word glory came to mind. I knew right then those boys were gonna win the whole thing. These are the glory days.

They had gone undefeated playing 7 games. I wish you could've been there that day to see the face of every boy. The jumping and whooping, all the hollering. It was a beautiful moment. These are the glory days. That's what my mind keeps thinking.

So they win one of the biggest tournaments there is and the coaches give them a week off. NO BASEBALL! Except for the team trip to watch the Royals play. All the boys sat in the row in front of me. Smiles on their faces, eating nachos, and dancing like crazy just to get on the jumbo tron and they did, several times. And all I could think of while sitting there watching these crazy boys was these are the glory days. Ahhhh to go back and be young again...

Last Day

2011-05-27T08:03:00.002-05:00

Woke up this morning, the last day of school here, thinking back to this moment...

The first day of Dallas' freshman year. My, the places it has taken me! Places I never dreamed. I keep thinking about how quickly time is passing by and that this seems like just yesterday. Where did it all go wrong? And as her school year in Colorado winds down on Tuesday all I'm doin' now...praying to God she is bored stiff at her dad's. :)

It's only one day

2011-05-23T06:51:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting here thinking to myself it's only one day. May 23rd, my daughter's 15th birthday.

It was no fun when we went shopping for her. I had a lady working at AE come up to me and ask what I was looking for. Nothing in particular was my response but she kept prodding till I finally told her a gift for my daughter who's turning 15. To make a long story short that is when the experience went down hill.

What I wanted to tell the lady is this, " Could you please just leave me alone. My girl no longer lives with us. She lives with someone who didn't raise her. Someone who has missed birthdays without calling, months with out calling, and many times not even a card was sent. So honestly lady, it would do me good if you'd get out of my face and go help someone who wants it." But I didn't say it. I bit my tongue. No reason to ruin her day.

What was going through my mind was all that I'll miss at this age. Like teaching her to drive and handing over the keys to her first car. Her first date. Helping her get her first job. Taking her to pick out a dress for the school dance. And her friends...I'm missing them too. Her graduation isn't far off with time moving so fast.

Sometimes I even wonder if I'll get to help pick out her wedding dress, though I know that one is a long way off. But most of the time I wonder why God would choose to give us this girl to raise and then at the most crucial time take her away and hand her over to someone who didn't do all the work. I know there is a reason.

It's your birthday and I have to keep telling myself, "It's only one day, just one day in this life on earth. It's just one day." And I thank God that his mercies are new every morning. And I thank God that someday I'll be singing his praises forever. FOREVER. And today is just one day.

I love you Dallas, my first true love. I miss you. Happy 15th birthday.

Pause music to the right first.

A Bud

2011-05-18T09:14:00.002-05:00

Neighbors who think I'm worth it deliver this to me. It makes me smile and brightens my day.

But it's this that speaks loud to my heart.

One little flower beginning to burst open in color and I think yes, beauty waits to come alive at just the right time. Somewhere underneath all the mess and darkness, all the tears and pain, beauty does exist. And God's
perfect timing will bring it forth.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in that secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:15-16

God knows the struggle that has come your way and he puts your tears in a bottle and he promises to make all things beautiful.(ECC. 3:11)

Fear Not

2011-05-12T08:10:00.000-05:00

I'm amazed a what fear can do to a life. Chokes it out, flames gone, and only smoke rises in the cosmos. And that smoke will disperse too leaving nothing behind. Nothing. Fear flat out turns life into death. There's no hope, no stirring of the soul with fear. And that same fear leads to a life of little opportunity. There is no faith in fear.

That's where I was for a long while...till the day I decided to just say YES! And I'm equally amazed at what one yes can do to a life. Turns it right around. The grass is greener the sky is bluer it's like falling in love. A life can bud right open with one small yes.

Sometimes it's taking that first step, that one yes I'm gonna step out and in, to break that soul wide. Man does it feel good. I suck that air down deep when I'm living the yes. Oh how I know it's that first yes that thrashes and rips at the heart. It's the wrestle you think will do you in. But remember there is someone on your side...

For I am the Lord, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand,
and says to you, Do not fear;
   I will help you
                       ~ Isaiah 41:13

There is freedom in the yes!

Are you in fear today? of anything? Is it holding you back from saying yes? I challenge you today to take that step of faith, in that one word yes, and believe the doors will be opened for you. Just do it. Just say yes, let the struggle be over, and opportunity will knock on your door.

Heavenly Father, I just pray today for those struggling with yes. That you might crack that door of their heart open just enough for them to see some light. When they say yes Lord, bust down that door and let opportunities fly their way. I know first had how powerful you are God and I'm asking you to show it the lives of those who say yes today. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.

* If you are reading this today and have decided to say yes, to something big or small, please come back and share it with me. I am praying for you.

Practice Makes Perfect

2011-05-10T08:31:00.001-05:00

He walks around the dim room searching, looking for warmth of sun. Just a beam of light from the window falls on the floor, but he seeks it out and finds it. Never fails. Dog does it every time. How is it a K-9 can figure out how to find comfort when needed but this simple minded human seems to always forget.

The unfolding of your words gives light;
it gives understanding to the simple.
~ Psalm 119:130

That dog does it over and over again. Why not me?

I've spent the last few years struggling with one problem after another. I'd seek out the Son for a little while trying to find peace or comfort, but when things didn't happen quickly I'd move on. A woman of no patience I am. So I'd sit in my struggles day after day and before I knew it, sitting there was what I did best.

Practices makes perfect, right?

I've come to the conclusion I need to form a habit much like the dog. If I want something I have to go find it, time after time I'll have to get up and go seek out the Son till it becomes my first reaction.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.- Matthew 7:7-8

Keep knocking on the door. Keep seeking out the Son. Keep asking God...and you will find your way. Just don't give up! Be persistent and soon you will not forget where to go. It'll be old habit. Practice makes perfect. Over and over. Time after time.

Heavenly Father, I pray today that I continue to seek you in all circumstances. Help me to not give up when I want to be impatient and help me to keep pushing through. Lord, I know if I could only see the number of times I gave up just before the finish line I would be more diligent to continue to seek you always. Let me look you full in the face. I thank you so much that you were, are, and always will be the same. I am so glad you never change. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.

Building my nest

2011-04-27T08:25:00.006-05:00

I turned to look out the window and notice the green leaves breaking forth from tree limbs and I thank God. Even out of the cold dark bowels of earth life bursts forth. It all looks so beautiful against the bright blue sky.

It reminds me that there's nothing God can't do.

And I think if he can do that then he can bring life back to my relationship with my daughter. But first things might have to be cold and dark for awhile. So, in the mean time...

As I'm watching out my window he gives me another reminder. One bird after another flying by with makings for a nest and God is telling me something here.

While I'm waiting...build my nest. A place of solace and refuge in the storm. My boys need a nest. I think of all the smiles they've brought to my face, all the laughter from my belly since the day in March and I see. We are a family and that's how you get through. Stick together, pray, and build a nest.

Finding Joy!

2011-04-12T09:03:00.008-05:00

What good is it for a child to have a bitter angry mother? One who sees no joys, no laughter, no fun?
Today I have absolutely nothing on the agenda. The boredom and mundane take flight again. Where is the joy?

Friends call up to see how I am and the answers always different. Today is good but call me tomorrow and you'll get a different answer. I'm about as unsteady as a glass of water teetering on the edge of the counter. Wouldn't it be nice to flow steady like a river?

Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it. ~Proverbs 22:6

Train your children how to find joy. Let them see how giving thanks to God for all things brings joy into the heart.

The fireball in sky rises bright bringing heat. Warmth that feels far away from winter. I think I'll start with that today.

#89...fireball rising in sky
#90...bunnies nestled in grass
#91...tulips that open to the sun
#92...birds perching high on rooftops

Research shows that youth who are ungrateful are “less satisfied with their lives and are more apt to be aggressive and engage in risk-taking behaviors, such as early or frequent promiscuous activities, substance use, poor eating habits, physical inactivity, and poor academic performance.”

Back in 2009 I started teaching this to my kids. Lasting long it did not. I had this book on a table where we could write down our thanks. On 9/26/09 this was my entry- Thank you Lord for the life you have given me. It is so good.

Justin happened to look and saw it, to which he followed suit and wrote this on 9/28/09- Thanks God for the water, land, and creatures. Also, thanks for the 7 days of light and the 7 nights of dark.

That was it folks. That's as far as it went. And I keep thinking if I had been diligent in showing the way of thanks would Dallas still be here with us in our home. Would she have eventually followed along too and found the joy that so many long for?

Remember above what research says?

I don't want to risk it anymore. I truly believe that giving thanks is the key to finding and experiencing joy. And there is NOTHING on earth I want more for my kids than to have a grateful heart filled with joy. NOTHING MORE. We're coming up with a plan today and I'll be back to share it.

Today begins our journey as a family. The long steady flow of the river...

Living the only way I know how...

2011-04-04T09:34:00.001-05:00

It's 8:10 on this Monday morning. What I really want to do is go back to bed and forget that this world exists. Yes, that sounds mighty good to me. Instead I write this because, well because at some point I have to move my feet and I guess today is the chosen day.

As some of you know we have allowed our very soon to be 15 year old daughter to move to her biological father's. That is 14 hours away from me. It was not an easy choice to make but was one that I believe in my heart had to be made.

Thursday will make 1 month since she has been gone and on May 23 she will turn 15, the first birthday I won't get to spend with her.

The first 2 days after she left I spent in bed, sad. I would sit up long enough to play board games with my boys whenever I knew they needed attention but that was about all I got done. Until some very good friends came by to see how I was doing. They had recently lost their daughter/sister. That is to say, lost her till they join her in heaven where there will be no more separation ever again.

I had just gotten out of the shower when they got here and hadn't even made it downstairs yet. I hadn't actually been down there for 2 days. I was slightly embarrassed at how dark and dim the house had been while I tucked away in bed so I went down to push the curtains back with a "let me get some light in here."

I've felt better since their visit. Almost a month has passed since Dallas left. I recall so clearly the hug I gave her as she walked out the door with this mama heart wondering if it would be the last one. I buried my nose in her long thick beautiful hair and inhaled long and deep. She smells so good. And then poof she was gone.

Fourteen years I've raised her. 14. A daily part of my life. The first few days I would think "it's five o'clock, time to go pick her up from track." But, no. No track. No more endless ringing of the phone. No daughter here with me. It's quiet. Very quiet. And I feel like I walk around mechanical because I don't remember how to move. How do I live this life without her here with me?

I know God has a plan for everything. That this too all has a greater purpose, that this had to happen in order for something else to happen.

Daily I wash my robe, the sin off my skin. ( Revelation 22:12-16)...and I wait.

Writing this- left foot down. Pushing the post button- right foot down. Mechanical?...no. I will live the only way I know how.

"To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.
Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain , O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
ISAIAH 40: 25-31

Isn't it all in the name?

2011-03-04T08:17:00.002-06:00

A good name is more desirable than great riches. Proverbs 22:1

...and it's everywhere in this place.

and I remember this too, always...

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

A good name is better than fine perfume. Ecclesiastes 7:1

And a good name it is. I am so blessed to be a part of this family. Thank you Mr. Kyle Nace for choosing me. You're a good man and that is why I love you. Mr and Mrs...always from this day forward...

Happy 11th Anniversary!!!!!

What to do? What to do?

2011-02-25T11:17:00.002-06:00

So I'm sitting here on yet another snow day for my kids wondering what to do. To be honest my first inclination is to lay in bed all day on this computer and watch tv. That would pass the time and require next to no energy. I am getting old, ya know? Wasting away with this time just sitting around.

How much fun is that? How productive is it? Why can't I get motivated to live?

The sun is shining so bright today, setting of sparks of color from every flake of snow. But I don't really know it, see it. The light is coming through drawn curtains. Why are the curtains drawn? It is a beautiful day and the light falls on surfaces whispering to me, "come alive."

The bedroom door is half open with the sound of the dishwasher and a movie flooding in. I hear my oldest talking on the phone. I wonder if I hollered "let's go outside" if they'd drop everything to get ready?

But do I really want to do that? I go downstairs to make my 2nd cup of coffee. I notice how dark the living room is so I go down and open the curtains. Awww, there. More light for today. As I come upstairs I notice I shut my bedroom door behind me, keeping out all the noise of the day. Before I sit I turn to open it back up.

I hear my youngest laughing with his brother as if to say, "it's time to play." My oldest is on youtube and the song she is playing...I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me and I start to think...

It's time to go meet God here. Right here in this place. He is all around. Everything is God beautiful. And it's time to play.

Chapter 6: 1000 Gifts

2011-02-24T07:24:00.002-06:00

Ann asks us in this chapter, "What do you want?" The answer is easy for me. It is the same as Ann and I think maybe that is why I enjoy her writing so much, why I got this book. I just knew. We want the same thing. What you want may be a different thing but just take time to figure it out.

So to sum it up I'll just put some things from the book that jumped out at me.

What do I want?

" Lord I want to see." (Luke 18:41) pg.108

And whether I am conscience of it or not, any created thing of which I am amazed, it is the glimpse of His face to which I bow down. Do I have eyes to see it's Him and not the thing?" pg.112

That is what makes us persevere through a life: to see Him who is invisible! pg 115

I long to live all eye. pg 115 ( This is my prayer, that I live all eye.)

Praying with eyes wide open is the only way to pray without ceasing. pg.121

#34...warm wash clothes
#35...sleepy yawning eyes in the morning
#36...little voices singing

It's all God beautiful, really.

Chapter 5: 1000 Gifts

2011-02-21T06:30:00.002-06:00

So here's what I'm taking from this chapter...

Dark days are going to come your way. They have and they will. You want a right relationship with God when those days do come. Listing the ways he loves is a good way to start knowing God.

# 29...sound of wind chimes
#30...the pink in sunset across the sky
#31...smell of charcoal grill

Kyle said to me last night, after reading my list, "I don't get how some of this stuff you see as a gift from God. Like your first one, the sound of Kyle shoveling snow before the sun has risen. I don't see that as a gift. I have to work hard to do that. I hate shoveling snow."

Yes, but you are alive to be able to do it and I am grateful for that. And I don't have to be able to hear the wind chimes, see that pink hue in sunset, or smell that charcoal. At any moment I could go blind or deaf or whatever. Darkness could fall at any moment but for now I get to experience all these things. And I want to thank God for them because they are a gift. God's grace towards me.

Chapter 4: 1000 Gifts

2011-02-17T12:25:00.001-06:00

"We are all merely shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing" (Psalm 39:6). pg.65

I actually feel that deep. I can't stand busyness. I don't want to sit around doing nothing but constant motion drives me mad. I love to be still.

Kyle used to come to me and say "on Monday we have these 3 things, on Tuesday we have this, Wed. and Thursday we have to go here and do this, oh and next Friday I'll be out of town for 3 days and you'll have to take care of everything then.

My man is just made that way. He loves to stay busy. It's who he is and I love him. Sometimes on the way to kid's sporting events we'll be in such a hurry even though we leave an extra 30 minutes early. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Fights start, moods change, and right before your eyes...the hurry has emptied our souls. pg.67

Haste makes waste. pg. 66

It makes you feel like there is never enough time. I don't like feeling that way.

I finally told Kyle one day, when he was running down his list of the weeks events, "Stop, I don't want to hear it. Tell me 2 days before you have to leave town. No sooner please and don't list off the events of the week anymore. It stresses me out. I feel the anxiety rise in my cheeks. I need to be all here, right now, not constantly thinking about all that has to be done and that there's not enough time for it all."

And I love this most. The way she writes this. It clicks in the brain. "Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. I'd never considered those to words, the bridge words there in the middle, the crossing over that took the not enough and made it enough.
Gave thanks... Eucharisteo."

There wasn't enough bread but Jesus took it and gave thanks and by doing so it was made more than enough.

You see, it's happening. Finally, I'm getting it. I am a hunter of beauty and I want to move slow and keep the eyes wide. I hunger to taste life. pg.71

Take this moment. Notice this moment. Give thanks for it. In good times and in bad. And it will be enough.

In my head I know it. See it clear. Slow, taste, give thanks. This precedes the miracle ~ joy.

What is love?

2011-02-15T14:44:00.003-06:00

Love is...

#9...dangling red hearts

Love is~ #10...red roses to his love

Love is~ #11...valentine's from school

Love is~ #12...red masking tape roses made for his mama

Love is~ #13...reminders of what to do

Love is~ #14...red heart valentine's made at school displayed high above door frames

Love is~ #15...homemade valentine from his wife that sets on his bedside table

Love is~ #16...words that remind me to slow and see

Love is~ #17...roses from her daddy(the one who raised her)reminding her the true love of a father...a man

Not all love is red, I know.

but...WHAT IS LOVE?

It's right there already highlighted in my husband's Bible.

Do you see it right there in black and white? GOD IS LOVE. And I think it over, and yes, this love is red too. Blood red.

#18...this love hangs

#19...and His love is all around

So look and SEE and count the ways he loves...

(says Ann Voskamp)

Chapter 3: One Thousand Gifts

2011-02-14T07:36:00.003-06:00

"Just naming it...Just naming it. When you don't have the name for something, you're haunted by shadows. It ages you." (pg.52)

For almost a year here recently I lived that. The not knowing, the unnamed. Blood test after blood test. Bone density tests, holter monitor's and EKG's. Endocrinologists who say every thing's fine here. NO NAME. It ages me.

This is my baby we're talking about here. I wanted the mystery solved so I didn't have to live in the shadows anymore. Finally, a gastroenteroligist names it. Celiac Disease. An autoimmune disease that destroys the intestines if gluten (wheat, barley, or rye) is ingested. We have a name, we research it, and we know what to do and we move on.

It aged me.

Here I am again not even a year later looking to solve another mystery. Needing another name for something else that has gone wrong with my girl. More needles and more tests. No name yet...(since I wrote this the Dr. called and she was dehydrated and low on potassium. That's why she collapsed at school) Praise the Lord for that. I thought she was going to be diabetic on top of the Celiac. God is good...all the time.

All of that just to say, "I totally get how giving a name to something allows you to see it for what it is."

And like you, I have been in plenty and I have been in want. If I am to be totally honest with you, right now I am in want. I am fully aware that I have not given thanks in ALL circumstances. But I believe it's time. I want to learn to live fully. I want to learn to be thankful whether empty or full, in plenty or in want. (pg 47)

Something on page 61 strikes me like a blow. "Life change comes when you receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change."

I don't think I've ever done that. I feel sorry for my girl and want things to change for her...I'm not gonna lie.

But, life change comes when you receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change.

So, I have to start somewhere and maybe the not asking for things to change will come in time. On page 57 Ann says this,"There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up."

...and if I name them I will see them for what they are. A GIFT!

The beginning of my giving thanks in all things...

My SEEd list: a hunt to see God's love for me

#1...the sound of Kyle shoveling snow before the sun has risen
#2...the street light illuminating the falling snow
#3...I get to do her laundry

SEED...WATER...GROW

Week Two: One Thousand Gifts

2011-02-07T06:15:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here reading the first part of this chapter, the part where she is having a nightmare about being diagnosed with cancer, and the way she describes it sends chills through. While she was birthing her 6, and cleaning floors, and kissing their daddy this cancer was taking over her body.

And it got me to thinking, what if? What if that's happening to me right now? I do a lot of griping in this life to not know how many days I have left. And no one knows how much longer you get to live. No one but God.

I live somewhere in between living fully alive and living in nothingness.

Ann says, "IT'S THE IN BETWEEN THAT DRIVES US MAD."

She's right. It's the in between that leaves me always wanting more.

BUT...I am learning that it's joy I want. And Joy comes from giving thanks(eucharisteo).

Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy. Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy. Grace-Thanksgiving-Joy.

I keep thinking if I say it enough it might sink in.

I am reminded of some things I wrote awhile back, here and here.

Seems God has been stirring my soul about this for some time now. And now this book. All the stars are aligning. I love it when he does that. Thank you God.

Dear Heavenly Father, may we all open our eyes to see all the gifts you have given us. May we give thanks for them all. And Lord bring joy to our hearts. We are sorry for the things we do wrong; the selfishness, the anger that rises, and the many more. Please forgive us and help us open our eyes wide to beauty. Thank you for all you have given. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.

I Can't Breathe

2011-02-04T20:50:00.004-06:00

This morning my oldest son decides he hates trying out these contacts. He wants his glasses and where are they? It's been three weeks and we haven't gotten them yet. There is no time. I feel like a bad mom.

My youngest son has some eye issue going on for two months now. It just won't clear up. He woke up this morning with the same red eye after I thought it was finally gone. I called the eye Dr. and he gives me new drops. This is the 4th one.

One phone call this afternoon. That's all it takes for the fear to rise. I'm in the middle of the grocery store and she tells me she's the nurse from the high school. Dallas has collapsed at school. She got dizzy and down she went. Had to have help to get to the nurse and she asks if she is hypoglycemic. I tell her no but that she has Celiac Disease and it can cause all sorts of problems. She asks if she can give Dallas ibuprofen for her headache as she hit her head on a chair and has two big bumps. I talk to Dallas and she says is fine now. Had I known all the story then I'd have picked her up from school and taken her to the Dr. immediately. More blood tests, more needles. She is prepared.

I'm taking the meat off of a chicken and give the wishbone to my 5 year old to do with his brother, he drops it on the floor and the dog gets it. I try but can't get it from the dog and he swallows it whole. I call the vet and he tells me what to do and what to watch for.

And I think again about Dallas. And it's this. All that I can think about. Fear grips me tight like a noose around my neck. I can't breathe. I go outside and I suck in the cold air deep. Breathe. I am not in control. I am not in control.

Then I hear the melody of a birds song. What used to be background noise is now music to my ears. And it reminds me...

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? - Matthew 6:26-27

God is in control. Easy to say. Sometimes so hard to believe.

Week One: One Thousand gifts

2011-01-31T08:00:00.002-06:00

Seems we all have things that brand our lives, don't we? Things that we never forget. And regardless of time spent thinking on it and thinking of it, trying hard to move passed; it's never gonna go away. That is life. A very harsh reality.

I have followed Ann's blog for years and never knew this was all part of her story. Not until I began to read the pages did I ask myself...how in the world has she moved passed all this-darkness? It wasn't 'in the world' that she got through it, but in Christ Jesus. That's how.

Not too long ago I met with an old friend to catch up. She told me about some very serious marriage problems she is having. After listening to her I recall saying, with tears running down my cheeks, "I have been in some very dark places in my life. And it's in those places that you learn to love the light."

THANK GOD there is light even in darkness. But, what Ann says is true, it is a choice. God always leaves it a choice.

After all, he is a God of love not a God of force. He waits for you to call him. He waits for YOUR love. Seek him.

Thank God there is light somewhere in this black hole.

That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart aching beauty beyond. ~Ann Voskamp

This is my prayer for all of us-

Dear God,
I pray each one of us reaches for you, that you are the one we seek in time of need, in time of crisis, and in times of darkness. There is so much darkness Lord. I pray we seek the light that is you. And you are faithful God. You are always there. May we feel that deep inside today Lord. Carry us till we can put one foot in front of the other again. Forgive us when we desperately try on our own. Thank you for who you are...The Everlasting Faithful God. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen.

Beauty

2011-01-25T17:16:00.005-06:00

Of all the things the eye can see

when you go for a walk

In search of beauty...

You might be surprised

If you opened up your eyes

to see the wonder of it all

The start of 1000 Gifts Book Club

2011-01-23T15:36:00.002-06:00

Okay there are still a few that haven't signed up for a google account so they can leave comments. It's easy. Go down a couple of posts and there is directions for you there. You can also leave comments anonymously(just type your name at the end of your comment so we know who wrote it) if you'd rather do it that way instead of signing up with google. But, all you really need to sign up with google is a username (email address) and a password. Once you get signed up leave me a comment.

Let's start today ladies. I've been waiting to dive in! I say we read a chapter a week and I'll post something here about each chapter every Monday. Next Monday will be the first post on the book-not tomorrow. When I do that I'll leave a link on FB just like I did this one. Please do comment on the posts here about anything you were thinking about while reading it. You never know what might help someone else.

Little things matter.

So, grab those Bibles and the One Thousand Gifts and I'll leave you with these thoughts:

What Will Today Bring?

This is the beginning of a new day.

God has given me this day to use as I will.

I can waste it or use it for good.

What I do today is important, because I am

exchanging a day of my life for it.

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,

Leaving in its place something I traded for it.

I want it to be gain, not loss;

Good, not evil;

Success, not failure,

In order that I shall never regret the price I paid for it.

~Author Unknown

So....
I dare you to get your highlighters out.
I dare you to mark what jumps off the pages.
I dare you to fall to pieces here.
I dare you to pick yourself back up.
I dare you to let the world SEE who you are.
I dare you to be changed.
I dare you to tell the story only you can tell.

...because everyone has a story and your story might just save someone else's life.

In the midst of it all, may we find joy. It's time to love God in a whole new way.

Dear God,
Help us to SEE the world around us no matter how beautiful or ugly. And help us to give thanks for it all. In Jesus' name, Amen

All The Things A Smile Can Say

2011-01-20T15:51:00.004-06:00

I recently helped my mom move my grama into a nursing home. That's never an easy thing to do. We were sitting in the dining room of the assisted living facility we were moving her out of. My grama and her best friend were sitting across the table. Plates of goulash and corn sat in front of us and the task at hand loomed in the air.

I look up from my plate just in time to notice an exchange between grama and her friend Carmen. These women are old and their lives have been full of joy and sorrow. Carmen looks at grama and smiles with a smile that says, "how am I going to make it here without you?" Grama smiles back and grabs her hand, "How am I going to live there without you?"

Over my plate of goulash and corn, my eyes brim over with tears and all I can think is WHY? Why does life have to be full of goodbyes?

This morning I pushed back the curtains to see all the snow that had fallen gently at night while I slept. The memory of their smiles to each other comes to mind as I watch the snow sparkle in the morning light.

It saddened my heart and I wondered why again, that life is full of goodbyes? That's when the memory of their smiles, which is burned into my mind, ignited a thought deep in my soul...

Love is beautiful.

One simple truth that changes everything.

Join us @

Getting ready for: 1000 GIFTS!

2011-01-19T19:46:00.001-06:00

Okay lets all get signed up so you can leave comments. As far as I know you can write as much as you want in the comment section. Click the comment button after this post to figure it out! I've left a comment for you...

FB book study

2011-01-11T09:11:00.003-06:00

I preordered this book over a month ago. One Thousand Gifts: A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp. I read her blog every morning. Ann gives me fresh thought for the day; a sense that all is really well no matter what. She has a gift. A GIFT! Her words make my spine straighten and shoulders push back so I can take a deep breath.That's what she can do with God. Help you breathe.

This is the book I would love to do an FB Bible study on. I'm not sure I could even call it a Bible study but a getting together and discussing how the book is changing us. And there is NO DOUBT this book will change us. No doubt this book will make us better. I already know thanksgiving will get me there. I just need someone to show me the way.

The book will be released in the next week or so, so there's still time. Order today and we'll begin reading soon. I'll keep you posted. Thinking we will read a chapter or so a week (if we can read that little at a time?) and then discuss it here on my blog. You'll have to set up an account to leave your thoughts after my posts, and I'll leave a link through FB. Push the comment button below and set up an account today!

I KNOW you won't be disappointed. Ann Voskamp is a gift from God...Order it today and let me know if you're in!

My Dear Friends...

2011-01-07T08:19:00.013-06:00

I had made a comment about Jessica's celebration of life being refreshing. I almost deleted it several times hoping not to offend anyone. I mean who uses a word like that in a situation like that? Honestly it was the first word that came to mind so I wrote it.

After a short time I decided I'd go to dictionary.com just to see the actual definition of the word refreshing. This is what it said:

REFRESHING: having the power to restore freshness, vitality, and energy

The word is a perfect description of Jess' celebration!!!

While I have you here I also wanted to share a devotional I had written a couple of years ago. It's my butterfly story.

A Moment I Won't Forget

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecc. 3:11

Whenever I hear this verse I am taken back to the far corners of my mind, to that place where all my memories lie.

We lived in Georgia and one of me and Kyle's favorite things to do was to go check out new houses. The Atlanta suburbs are full of new construction. The kids didn't like this much because we could spend all day out there on the open road, stopping at any new subdivisions we came across.

We found one that was spectacular. Of course, the realtor was right there when we were getting the information on the houses out of the mailbox. We talked for a bit and then he wanted to show us this house that was only studded at that point. We looked at the house with him and then headed back out towards the car. As we were walking we were talking to this realtor and the whole time this was going on I could hear Dallas saying, "Mom...Mom...look at this!"

At this point I am getting really annoyed because I'm thinking how rude is this girl. Here I am trying to have a conversation with this man and she just keeps saying, "Mom..Mom...look at this!" So, I finally jerked my head around and in total irritation, hollered--"WHAT!!"

She had her hands cupped and with this huge smile on her face said, "Watch this."

Dallas opened up her hands and out flew the most beautiful butterfly I had ever seen. It was cobalt blue and it just fluttered around our faces for a few seconds and then flew off. It was breathtaking. I knew God had given that moment to me and Dallas. Something special for the two of us to share.

God does that, you know. Gives us special moments. Most of the time( like me) we don't take the time to notice them. I am so very glad that Dallas was persistent. And, I am so thankful that she is the type of person that "stops and smells the roses."

I learned some things that day.
-God gives us children to teach us how simple life can be

AND

-The Earth is filled with His glory!

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecc. 3:11

I always think of butterflies when I hear that verse. And you all- He WILL make everything beautiful again! Just don't be afraid to open up your wings and fly.

Love, Cheri

On to the New Year

2010-12-29T07:32:00.004-06:00

Christmas came quick this year. The day moved slow and easy, long and deliberate, just the way I like it. And now the new year is upon us; 365 more days to live -hopefully. What will we do with them?

Job 19:25-27 says this:
I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
I myself will see him
with my own eyes-I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!

Not that what I'm about to say has much to do with that verse necessarily...but it got me to thinking.

Seeing something with the eyes can make the soul break open wild. And wild, well that's kind of been what I've always been. God made me that way. I just used it for my purposes instead of his.

I don't believe God ever drew a line in the sand and said, "Don't cross this." But I do believe he drew that line just to see how far we might go for him. I have always chosen my own way. How about you? I wouldn't dare to put even a toe over to the wild side of God's dash and still here I sit questioning how to fully, wildly live. I'm convinced the only way to know...is to step over.

"I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey his voice, and that you may cling to him, for he is your life and the length of your days. Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Heavenly Father,
My next 365 days...Use me. There is no greater purpose in life. You are my creator and I am your masterpiece gently molded by your hands. The road has been long and rough. I chose not the direct path, but the long winding one with many forks, all because you created a wild soul within me. There was something for me to learn and I have learned it. You are my God and I have faith you will go with me. I am willing. My eyes are open, my ears are not deaf. I have no excuse. I am capable because you have made me that way. You are a powerful God. Please Lord, show me the way. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen

Here in the next year, this is how I will fully, wildly live- eyes aware of the world around me and ears listening to the voice of God.

How will you live wild?

The Candle

2010-12-25T09:56:00.006-06:00

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of the shadow of death

a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2

JESUS

The last candle to be delivered tonight.
May His light shine forever in your hearts.

Sweet Love

2010-12-23T09:17:00.009-06:00

While it's still dark, he walks to the edge of the bed and searches out her face. He bends, and lightly brushes his lips on her cheek. He moves slowly to her ear and softly whispers, "I adore you" -then he turns towards the door for work that beckons.

Of all the words he's ever spoken to her, it's those three that keep coming back. Over and over again.

I love this man...

The Look

2010-12-21T08:17:00.005-06:00

Love this photo! I don't think anyone else noticed what was going on but I am so happy I caught the moment forever. I clicked that button at just the right time.

Cooper slowly puts his arm around Mikah. She turns to him and says "what do you think you're doing?" To which Cooper just smiles. He doesn't say a word. He must be practicing for future years when he has his first real girlfriend. The look on Cooper's face is priceless to this mama's heart. I see it now, playing out just the same in about 10 years at a movie theater. That exact look as he shyly puts his arm around his girl.

I won't be there to see that one- but it'll be here before I know it. Until then- I'll love the innocence in this photo. It melts my heart. I love, love, love it!

Time is a wasting.

2010-12-20T14:56:00.033-06:00

Old man winter reminds me...

I gaze out looking at the line where heaven meets dirt. The big orb shines light in the night sky and every detail is seen in every dead tree, every barn and silo outlined against the midnight blue and there is no other color. The world seems right with children giggling in the background as I notice all God's beauty in the shadows. The car moves fast and the landscape always changes and nothing stays the same. Time moves quickly and there's no grabbing on, no stopping father time.

Seems just yesterday I had my first pains and now have had two more since. The pain that lasts long and brings life. The pain that takes breath away only to witness a first breath taken. Yes, pain brings life in all situations.

Like Jesus dying on the cross. A painful death brings us life everlasting.

The Bible says...

-All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

-But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

-For the wages of sin is DEATH, but the gift of God is eternal LIFE in Christ Jesus our Lord.(Roman 6:23)

-If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.(Romans 10:9)

-Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.(Romans 10:13)

Jesus...the only one to pay the price for our sin.

Your first breath brought you life here on Earth, let His last breath give you life eternal in heaven. After all, it is the reason he was born.

Weird sometimes to talk about life and death. But the crows feet and laugh lines no longer need a smile to appear. They are permanent reminders of the years gone by. Don't waste anymore time. Will you pick up your cross and follow him?

To see this hard to watch video first go to the sidebar to the right and pause music.

Before it's too late.

Always learning something

2010-12-14T19:54:00.003-06:00

I learned something tonight.

If you have something nice to say you shouldn't wait to say it.

It took days but I finally caught them at home...so I thought.

A woman answers and I tell her good evening and hand the candle over wishing Merry Christmas. I tell her I'm wondering if she has a marine in the family that visited her about a year ago. She says no but the lady that lived here before passed away in March and she moved in in June.

I catch my breath this is not how I thought it would go. I tell her "oh, I wanted to come by and just tell her the story of something that touched my heart when that marine was here on this porch." I stand there collecting my thoughts. Saddened I hadn't come by before to tell the woman about her grandson. Not that it would've drastically changed the woman's life if I'd told her sooner but I bet it would've lifted her spirit. I bet it would've made her feel good, a little less lonely perhaps. But, she is gone now.

If you have something nice to say, say it.

So I wish Merry Christmas to the woman at the door again and tell her I pray the light of Christ warms her heart tonight. She says thank you and as I turn to go I notice a tear in her eye. I think maybe she really needed this tonight and that is what I hope...but maybe she just noticed the tear in mine.

Hard to believe Jesus would do such a thing.

2010-12-10T10:09:00.009-06:00

Sometimes it's just not easy.

If I could count the number of times I let Him go the shame would rise on my cheeks, burn red hot like crimson. Foolish girl I am day by day. He is there and he calls me back home.

Far fetched...that's what some might say about the idea of a man dying on the cross for them and then rising again to make a place. I have wondered myself. Here is what I have to say about that-

I am not who I used to be. A young girl with no dream to carry in her heart going down a path of destruction just waiting for the world to fall down around her, and it did.

Who I am now, after years of turning away and coming home again, a woman with a dream ready to take on the world for Christ.

I've spent years, 11 to be exact, walking around doing things on my own with a thought that wrestles constant. "Don't you know the way"...

It's hard to always have that nagging thought. The conscience that says I'm here waiting when you finally come to your senses. Yes, being a christian is hard. The Man upstairs NEVER lets go even if you think you want him to.

That's a tough spot to be in, isn't it? But, why would he let go?

God in the flesh...came down.

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death-
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
-Philippians 2:6-11

Why would he let me go? Beaten and bloody this man, my Lord, Jesus Christ hanging on a cross crying out in agony because of me and for me.

So hard to believe a man would willingly take that on for me, a wretched sinner day by day. Yes, so hard to believe. A man born to die.

The Marine

2010-12-07T09:01:00.002-06:00

I pass the house everyday on my way home. The scene played out as I drove by maybe 30 seconds tops. It's burned into my memory for well over a year.

A marine fully dressed with white hat and white gloves standing on the porch of his Grandma and Grandpa. He opens the door for them and waits for each to sit before he does. There on the front porch in the beautiful summertime sat this marine straight up and down erect back not touching the chair behind him as he visited.

I remember passing thinking how proud they must be of this man and as I drove by my softened bones grew rigid-proud to be an American. I think about that moment all the time. I don't know why. I remember thinking I too would want to sit on the porch show him off proud. So tonight I will deliver 'the Light of the world candle' to those grandparents and tell them what I saw and how it made me feel. I want them to know.

I pray for that proud marine today. I know not where he is or what he might be doing - but I still see him marine tall.

THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD IS COMING

2010-12-01T08:32:00.006-06:00

Some don't feel the eager anticipation of Christmas. For whatever reason they hurt and have shadowy places in their heart. They don't see the light coming in the distance. I say we don't just wait for Grace to come. I say we bring some of that light to the world. Would you like to join me?

Each night December 1st-25th knock on a door, light a candle, and give it away. Pray the light of Christ will warm their heart tonight.

Is anyone else in?

If you hear a knock, answer that door. The Light is coming! Can you feel it? Can you see it? Christ is coming; the Light of the world is on His way...

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.---Isaiah 9:2 it goes on to say in verses 6&7...

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

I am 100% EXPECTING God to show up! Want to join?

Never too late...

2010-11-17T17:35:00.002-06:00

Dreams sometimes just lie flat and die. Don't they? Don't get me wrong I love the life God has given me. This piece of the world he chose for me. My husband and kids are my life!

But let's face it, sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would.

I was 20 and found myself pregnant and ALONE. A place where many young women find themselves these days. I've wondered for the last 15 years now why I made the choices I did. Why didn't I respect myself enough not to have sex before marriage? Why didn't I believe I was worth it all when I chose to do that drug or drink before I should've? Was I really just being a kid or did I not have a dream-- something that was bigger than myself.

Finally after all this time... I DIDN'T HAVE A DREAM. I was just living life for all it was back then. I was in it for me.

I'm starting to think that's what happens to most of our young girls that wind up pregnant. They just don't have a dream or they are too scared to try. Easier not try than to fail and possibly disappoint.

Maybe I actually did have a dream back then but it was just sleeping quietly in the shadows of my heart. Whether you are young or old...it happens. The dream dying slow and deliberate. It is deliberate.

What if you had taken that step crossing the threshold of fear? But instead you worry about what people might think of this crazy dream. So you stop dead in your tracks, you don't move, and it slowly fades into darkness. Life takes over, some get pregnant and some just settle for less than what their heart desires, and that dream it shrinks smaller and smaller til you believe you didn't have a dream somewhere in your soul to start with.

I've lived that dreamless life now for 35 years. Please remember I love my life I just have a longing in my soul. Do you feel that too? I think God is bringing mine to the surface, shedding light in the corners. I'll share it with you some day. But what a shame to live this long and not be living my dream. But, better late than never, right?

My daughter is 14 and at that age where she thinks she knows everything and life doesn't go beyond this moment. I guess that's why I'm thinking about all this now. Hoping she has a dream and that I do everything I can to help her take the steps to fulfill that dream. Back her 100% no matter the dream because the dream is ALWAYS better than the alternative.

So I ask her...she wants to be a police officer. She's been saying that for 2 years now- so can I just say YIKES!! :) Why that, I ask? "I want to help people and do what I want to be doing all at the same time."

Help people...isn't that what we all really want to do?

I hope this dream stays alive in these next few years of high school and beyond. I hope she never forgets it. I hope she takes that step forward through her fear when the time is right.

Until then................ I hope that dream roars like a lion in her soul.

Veteran's Day 2010

2010-11-11T08:29:00.006-06:00

On this Veteran's Day I am taken back to 2 memories. The first- Going to Grama's house and selling poppies at the Veteran's Day parade every year. I had so much fun.

The second- Visiting my sister and her husband Marc who lived on base in Georgia. Everynight at 10 pm we went outside and listened to the buglar play taps. A very humbling experience. Never went back in without a tear in my eye.

Today reminds me of a poster I read just last night:

Winners are those who chose to do what noone else wants to do.

Thank you to all those who have and are serving in the military. You are all winners. Your sacrifice is not forgotten by this American. And sis-I know how much you have sacrificed too. I love you. You are a beautiful soul.
This is Shantel and Marc minutes before he left for his latest tour in Iraq. God bless you.

I pledge alligiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Day #30 has arrived...and I've learned a few things.

2010-10-27T21:47:00.007-05:00

The eyes are the window to the soul. That's how the saying goes, right? I believe it.

I miss so many things that are right in front of me.

There is this woman who stands on the street corner. I've seen her there so many times before and my thought is 'If she spent the same time looking for a job as she does on this corner she might not be homeless.' Sounds harsh doesn't it? I've passed her by time after time never looking her in the eye.

At the stop light that seemed forever long I rolled down my window and gave her a $20. I ask her name and tell her I've passed her by many times- but no more. I look her in the eye and tell her I will pray. She believes in me and I in her. All by the look in the eye. I tell you this not to boast "oh look what I did." I tell you this because of a heart changed. This is what I saw....Jesus. It was him standing there looking for help. How many times has he watched me pass him by? My heart aches at the thought.

Time and time again I lose my way. I never understand how I get to this point but I ALWAYS get to this point. That place where you wonder where you're at. You do so good for awhile but sooner or later it all falls apart. That's where I was when I started this challenge. God...awake my soul. My soul felt dead. I have since figured out why. Because I failed to pray. No communication with God equals separation from God. Separation from God equals lonely.

I eventually gave up on prayer because praying is hard. It is not for the weak.

I was looking for joy. And I've learned that the JOY is in the journey. The journey lasts a lifetime and that lifetime can be all you want it to be. You just have to ask.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7: 7-8.

Why do I believe this? Why should you believe me? Because I did it...and He didn't fail me.

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law of the Prophets." Matthew 7: 9-12.

...and that is the answer to my question. "How do I make a difference in this world? How do I change the world?"

The 1st commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. The 2nd is to love thy neighbor as thy self. And that, is how you change the world. Love your neighbor as yourself.

This journey doesn't stop here. But will continue. Where the next thing is I don't know, but I do know this...this time-this time I'm staying alive. This time I'm staying awake...wide awake for the journey. This time I'm praying my butt off! Why? Because I am anything but weak.

My eyes are open Lord. Show me the way...

So this is how God is keeping my soul alive on day #25.

2010-10-23T09:46:00.004-05:00

I feel like I've been through hell and back the last couple of days.

Something was said of me that is untrue, but none the less, very hurtful. I tend to be the kind of person that dwells on things for awhile. I walk down the street and think,"hmmm, I wonder if they heard that and if they believe it?"

Perception is reality, right?

As I was crying myself to sleep the other night I heard God say,"You have already dealt with this issue there is no need to go back there again." I woke up the next morning told my daughter we weren't going to rehash all this again and that we were moving on.

Next day...this 'thing' was taken a bit further. Where the end of this goes I do not know. I will have to be patient.

What I do know is this...I know who I am in Christ. There is no wavering there. I am standing on the rock that is unshakable. No need to worry. No need to rehash. No need to dwell.

I am moving on.

I read something this morning that someone had posted on facebook. One of those perfect timing moments, ya know?

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place...it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life...it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. If you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth." -Rocky Balboa

What Satan intended for evil, God intended for good. And that's how this soul is staying alive today.

End of challenge day #22...AWAKE MY SOUL.

2010-10-20T21:16:00.002-05:00

Don't you just love those moments when someone surprises you? Not with the little stuff but with the BIG stuff? You know, the stuff that REALLY matters? The stuff that changes peoples lives. Well, my husband did that today. Can I just say HE'S AWESOME!!! I love that he gets me.

Thank you God for giving me this man. MAN. I love this MAN. I've been with some real doosies in my life...but this guy-he's for real.

Have you all ever listened to K LOVE the radio station? It's the right song at the right time I'm tellin ya. I think around Emporia it might be 99.1. I think. Kansas City it's 97.3. Give it a try, see if you can find it. Keep it dialed there for a few days and see if your life doesn't look just a little bit brighter.

End of challenge day #20...AWAKE MY SOUL.

2010-10-17T20:59:00.002-05:00

So this sums it all up right here. This is exactly where I'm at...

Do not say to your neighbor,
"Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow"-
when you now have it with you.

Proverbs 3:28

End of challenge day #17... AWAKE MY SOUL.

2010-10-15T13:58:00.006-05:00

I am sure there are many facets to finding the joy I'm looking for. Where to start is a hard thing. Been pondering it for a few days now. I guess the only thing to really do is search it out. To continue to pray God will reveal it to me.

But something in the back of my mind keeps telling me, with my own little journey I've got going on here, that I should start with gratitude. A grateful heart for all things even the small ones that I sometimes take for granted. I am thankful for what I have been given. I just think that maybe I'm supposed to show it more.

I just want that spark to be lit, ya know? That one thing that gives my life purpose. That one thing I and ONLY I was meant to do? The reason God created me just as he did. That one thing that helps me to change the world...even if it's just a piece of the small world I live in. I'll try anything Lord. ANYTHING to fulfill my purpose.

A grateful heart comes first.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.

Hebrews 12:28

End of challenge day #14...AWAKE MY SOUL.

2010-10-12T13:07:00.003-05:00

Okay, so it's not actually the end of the day but when something hits you in the face it hits you in the face. Does it ever happen to you...those times when you keep hearing something over and over again? Or you read the same word on a sign or in a song? And it finally, after a few days or weeks, makes your ears perk up and you start to wonder what is it that God is trying to say?

Well, this afternoon I figured it out. I think.

JOY. One small three letter word. Who ever knew it could mean so much? I think that is what my soul has been missing. Not the kind of joy where you put a fake smile on and pretend that life is grand- but the kind that is way down deep in the gut. The joy that bubbles out and over and makes you want to let your light shine kind of joy. Oh, YES do I want that. Been missing for far too long. I actually am not sure if I ever had it to begin with.

The joy some experience with the everyday things in life. The ordinary or what I might call mundane or boring. I wonder how you get that kind of joy. I'm hoping God will show me soon because I want to FULLY live this one life I have been given.

End of challenge day #11...AWAKE MY SOUL.

2010-10-10T00:14:00.003-05:00

So challenge day #11 has been fabulous. :)

I know it's late or early (me writting this) depending on how you look at it. But, isn't that true to life in itself. "It's in the eye of the beholder?"

We had baseball today(go figure) about an hour away from the house. We stopped to get me some coffee which I went into Quick Trip to get. Kyle gave me a 20 dollar bill to pay and I got a 10, a 5, and some change back. When I got in the car I set the change in the console.

We had gotten about 20 minutes out of town when we realized that Justin's baseball equipment wasn't in the car. Can I just say "duh" here please! So we headed back towards home. You can imagine the tension in the vehicle since we were now going to be running late. We get back into town and are stopped at a light where there are people collecting money for something or other. I grab the 5 dollar bill from the console and tell Kyle to give it to them. He looks at me and says, " Five bucks...really?" I said "yip" and gave him a great big smile. Apparently he should just be thankful I didn't grab the 10 dollar bill that was sitting there. :)

Kyle, being the great man he is rolled down his window and gave them the 5 bucks. In return they gave us 2 big tootsie roll pops which the boys enjoyed!

The mood in the car changed straight up. It didn't matter that we were now running late anymore. And can I just say that we ended up being right on time for warm ups for the game.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this. Even when things seem bad, your in a bad mood or whatever- give, give till it might hurt. It will change your attitude. The anger is replaced with thankfulness. Your soul is freed up to be happy. :)

We ended up losing both games. One of them we lost BIG. But who cares...life isn't about baseball.

End of challenge day #8...AWAKE MY SOUL.

2010-10-06T16:21:00.006-05:00

Today I went for a country drive after dropping Cooper off at preschool. There's just something about driving down an old dirt road, know what I mean? Windows down, music up, and the nostrils filling with the pungent scent of hay. I love it! I love what it does to my soul. Feels like it's opened up wide.

So here is the barn I came across- that I took a photo of- while I went for a ride- on an old dirt road- that had my soul singing this...

End of challenge day #7...AWAKE MY SOUL.

2010-10-05T21:30:00.002-05:00

Aren't friends just AWESOME. They can help get you through anything...

There's a blog I read everyday and have for years now. Tammy, who writes it, has been through alot in her life. She lost a daughter to SIDS and then recently lost a son to brain cancer. While trying to hold it all together even while grieving, she posted that she can't cook and that really bothers her. What a couple of her friends did for her is why I am posting this tonight. I am amazed at the power of friends. They can lift up a hurting soul just when it's needed. Before you read it I wanted to challenge you, myself included, to do something in the next week or two for a friend. Something spectacular. Something they would never dream would happen to them. Let them know how special they are to you. I bet you their soul could use the lift!

http://tammynischan.blogspot.com/2010/10/send-in-clowns.html

End of challenge day #4...AWAKE MY SOUL

2010-10-02T22:06:00.002-05:00

The other day I was sitting with a friend who had just moved into our neighborhood. She was talking about how much she loved it here and all I said was, "I like the neighborhood but I hate my house." My heart was almost instantly convicted. I should appreciate all that I have.

This house is much different than most we've lived in. Usually we buy ranch style homes but this is a tri-level and it takes forever to clean. Truth be told, I have a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in, food on the table, and a great family. Why should I gripe about my house just because it is different. It is actually beautiful. And being thankful for what you have...well, that's always good for the soul.

Lord, thank you for my home. I will never gripe about it again.

End of challenge day #3...AWAKE MY SOUL

2010-10-01T21:45:00.002-05:00

So today I had a piano delivered to the house. It's been passed down through the family and I'm honored to have it grace my home. I have never played a lick of piano in my life. But, trying new things is good for the soul, right?

End of challenge day #2

2010-09-30T18:11:00.003-05:00

I got to hold a baby today. He felt so good and smelled so sweet. A little peace of heaven.

Met a friend at the park and we watched all our boys play together. The breeze was cool and the sun felt good on my face.

We watched them play in the creek. Her little guy went in with his shoes on first and I'm not sure why but I didn't think Coop would go in with shoes on. And he did. My first inclination was to holler at him but then I said,"screw it."

We watched our boys being boys and it was fantastic. It was like a big deep breathe of fresh air. A stirring of the soul. A reminder that things aren't always hard.

End of challenge day #1

2010-09-29T20:43:00.005-05:00

I started writing this challenge three different times before I finally decided to post it on facebook. Why? Well, because I like to be comfortable. You see, putting this out there for all of you to see means I am vulnerable. Some of you may think I'm nuts while others may think I'm just me.

I have a wide variety of friends. Some are Christians, some don't care, and some are atheists. Do you see why I might fear? What might people think of me? Truth be told, at this point, I no longer care.

My life has seemed mundane for far too long. I think it is time to live a less comfortable life.
So I ask God," What's the most important thing I can do with my life? How should I REALLY live?"

So I guess that's what God has given me on this first day of the challenge...a hope...a stirring of the soul. That my life truly does matter and it's possible that I could change the world. And I'm going to believe just that as I fall asleep tonight.

THE CHALLENGE: Awake My Soul

2010-09-29T01:06:00.016-05:00

So if you are here I take it you've had that 200 pound backpack digging into your shoulders?

Well, the last year of my life has taken its toll. I feel tired and edgy like my soul has been in slumber for a very long time. A friend of mine had posted a song on facebook...

while watching it dawned on me how sleepy and heavy my soul has been. Almost as if I've just been going through the motions of being alive but am not really alive.

My comment to her about the video was the challenge of waking every morning for the next 30 days and asking God to awake my soul. I told her I knew my God well enough to know that He would be taking me on an adventure and that is just what I needed. How about you?

Starting today and for the next 30 days I am asking God to awake my soul. I am hoping to share something everyday here about how God is doing just that. I'll leave a link on FB for you. If you would like to join the challenge just leave a comment at the end of these posts about the way you're coming alive. I'm sure there will be some small things and some big. Anyway, I would love to hear from you.

In the words of my friend Leslie," Here's to new adventures and being awake...WIDE awake!"

If there is a real woman-even the trace of one-still there inside the grumbling, it can be brought to life again. If there's one wee spark under all those ashes, we'll blow it till the whole pile is red and clear. - C.S. Lewis

Growing Old

2009-08-28T13:09:00.010-05:00

How hard it must be to grow old. I am somewhat sad today as my mother helps my grandma go through her things. She is moving into an assisted living facility where there is no room for decades of memories. I imagine, as she sits in her chair in front of her dresser, that she too is sad.

How fondly she looks at that necklace, so fragile and beautiful. Or the lamp that sits atop that she bought 30 years ago when she traveled with a loved one. And that bottle of perfume that will always remind me of the way she smells. The beautiful crochet doily her grandmother made. What about the pictures of family all over her house that have to be packed and given away. I wonder if she looks at each one and remembers.

I would love to hear the stories behind them all, and I bet she's looking at those pictures thinking... 'what a great life I've had'.

There is one thing that consoles my heart today. I am certain that my grandmother will spend eternity in heaven when God calls her home. And when that day comes she will take nothing with her but her soul.

I LOVE YOU!

Please pray!!!

2009-07-27T10:03:00.001-05:00

If you go a couple posts back and click on the picture you'll be able to get an update on Stellan. Please pray for him and spread the word if you can. Things aren't looking good for this precious baby.

Please Lord, don't take this baby from his Mama.

Pray

2009-03-25T14:24:00.004-05:00

Please!!!! Click the picture below and pray for this beautiful baby boy.

Choice of Words

2009-01-07T17:18:00.007-06:00

We put away all our Christmas things this past weekend. After a couple of days my son walked into the room where we had the Christmas tree and said,"It's so lonely in here." I said,"Yeah...empty, huh?"

As I sat there for a while longer my thoughts returned to his choice of words. LONELY?...because the Christmas tree is gone? I am fascinated by the feeling he had when walking into the room. Most people just say,"It looks empty".

The two words are synonyms for each other. They mean pretty much the same thing so I'm not sure why I keep thinking about what he said.

Just goes to show you how differently kids look at things.

Please pray for our young girls

2008-10-27T13:03:00.006-05:00

My daughter hasn't heard from her biological father in 5 months now. It's not the first time this has happened and I'm sure it won't be the last. I do thank God everyday for my husband. He has been in our lives since Dallas was one and a half years old, so she doesn't remember a day without him. But I wonder what she really feels inside. Sometimes she shares with me and other times she says nothing. Please pray for her.

How painful it must be for all the young girls who face the same situation. I can't help but feel it has to affect their self esteem. I only hope that my husband being in our lives for so long has helped with that. I hope she notices him kissing me and telling me how beautiful I am. I hope it will help her to know how a man is really supposed to treat a woman. I hope that detours her from bad decisions later in life. I hope she knows she is worthy of all good things.

Then there is the teenager who emails me. She is cutting herself and the last time she did, it took a long time to stop bleeding. The kids at her school tell her she should just kill herself. I try my hardest to convince her to get help. I have sent links to websites and hot line numbers for her. But, there is only so much I can do. So I pray for her. Would you pray for her too? She says she is always alone and that her parents could care less about her. I hope she will be okay. My heart aches for her. I hope she knows she is worthy of all good things.

Any young girl out there reading this...please know you are not alone. EVER. God is beside you whispering in your ear, "I love you."

If you need to talk, email me at kcnace@kc.rr.com You can rise above the past. Trust me- because I know.

Growing up too soon

2008-09-03T13:40:00.003-05:00

My 7th grade daughter came home from school on the 3rd day with some very disturbing information. Someone her and her best friend talk with at school is doing some crazy things with her boyfriend in his home in the evening. I won't go into details as I'm sure you all can use your imagination. I have heard this girls name before but have never met her. I don't know the circumstances of her life, her living situation, or if her family is even home to keep tabs on her.

As my daughter gets older I am starting to believe the saying "it takes a village to raise a child." I can't help but think if it was my girl doing these things, someone better tell me before it's too late. But, I don't even know these people so what am I supposed to do?

She also tells me about a goth chic that she sits next to in one of her classes. She cuts herself. She says it's how she controls her anger. My daughter, Dallas for those of you who don't know her name, told this girl she was praying for her. The girl confided in Dallas and said she does believe in God but can't stop cutting herself.

Who knew they would have to grow up at such a young age?

Dallas and her best friend have decided not to be friends with the girl who's doing crazy things with her boyfriend. Thank you God, what a grown up decision they've made.

I have told Dallas I don't want her hanging out with the goth chic who is cutting herself but to keep letting her know that she is praying for her.

I am scared because I know there is a very fine line here. A line between doing what is right and going down a path that is hard to return from.

I am scared because there isn't much I can do to stop the world from crashing in on her.

I'm scared because I've buried my head in the sand long enough.

These kids are dealing with things we never dreamed of at this age.

I think of you Dallas, every time I hear this song. I am so proud of you. And Dallas, I love you very much and I am so thankful that you talk with me. I am always here and I will never stop praying for you!
--Love, Mom

Holy Holy Holy

2008-08-26T07:27:00.004-05:00

I was sent this email this morning. It was quite timely in fact. Things haven't been so great for me lately. It reminded me of what my future holds...and that's all I needed to know as I woke.

You are in your car driving home. Thoughts wander to the game you
want to see or meal you want to eat, when suddenly a sound unlike any
you've ever heard fills the air. The sound is high above you. A trumpet? A
choir? A choir of trumpets? You don't know, but you want to know..

So you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As you do, you see
you aren't the only curious one. The roadside has become a parking
lot. Car doors are open, and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing out of the grocery store.

The Little League baseball game across the street has come to a halt.
Players and parents are searching the clouds. And what they see, and
what you see, has never before been seen.

As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of the atmosphere part. A
brilliant light spills onto the earth. There are no shadows. None.
From every hue ever seen and a million more never seen. Riding on
the flow is an endless fleet of angels. They pass through the curtains one
myriad at a time, until they occupy every square inch of the sky.

North. South. East. West.

Thousands of silvery wings rise and fall in unison, and over the
sound of the trumpets, you can hear the cherubim and seraphim chanting,
Holy,holy, holy.. The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four
silver-bearded elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in
worship.

Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are silent, leaving
only the triumphant triplet: Holy, holy, holy. Between each word is a
pause. With each word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join in the
chorus. You don't know why you say the words, but you know you
must.

Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet. The
angels turn, you turn, the entire world turns and there He is. Jesus.

Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure of Christ
the King. He is atop a great stallion, and the stallion is atop a
billowing cloud. He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration:

I am the Alpha and the Omega.

The angels bow their heads.. The elders remove their crowns. And
before you is a Figure so consuming that you know, instantly you know:

Nothing else matters. Forget stock markets and school reports. Sales
meetings and football games. Nothing is newsworthy.. All that
mattered, matters no more.... for Christ has come.

This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, he saw me,
and he asked: My child, what is your greatest wish for today?

Author Unknown

Prayer request

2008-08-14T14:32:00.003-05:00

...because I would be so blessed and so happy to know someone was doing this for my family if I were in need

http://tammynischan.blogspot.com/ and look for August 13th post.

Writer Interrupted...God and Football

2008-08-13T08:31:00.004-05:00

Come join me here today and read a little something about football and a little something about God!

Happy Birthday to me!

2008-08-08T09:50:00.003-05:00

Today I turned 33. That is the same age that Jesus Christ was when he died on the cross for our sins.

So young with so much life left... yet he chose the nails!

What an impact he had on humanity in his 33 short years... yet he still lives on today!

What a mark he left on earth in 33 years!

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death-
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:6-11

All of that in just 33 years!

Wanting To Be More

2008-07-28T10:11:00.005-05:00

I laid in bed this morninig crying for a boy Nick, who has brain cancer. Then , when I was done crying and praying for him, I thanked God for my healthy children. I once again became keenly aware of the type of mother I am.

I am rigid. The military sargeant type. I always want things in their place and I want my kids to mind. I don't want them to ask me questions they already know the answer to, because why waste time talking about it if you already know the answer? I like peace and quiet and order. How's that for my mom abilities? Pretty frightening, right?

We recently returned from vacation, which I hope to post some pics of soon. We had so much fun. The military mom was replaced by a mom who wanted to have fun with her kids. No worries just plain old fashioned fun!

Why can't I be like that at home? Why do I jump down my kids' throats for asking a simple question?

All I want is to play out in the rain with the kids and not care that there will be a puddle of water on the floor when we come in.

All I want is to be able to let the kids play in the house with friends and not care that the toys are everywhere. I act as if the house will never get back to its original state, even though I know it will.

All I want is to take the time to enjoy my kids while I can. But WHY is that so hard for me?

Why am I as rigid as a board?

Thank you, Lord for my healthy kids. Help me to enjoy them before it's too late! Help me to lose control. I'm tired of the anxious thoughts that roam in my head. Help me to let go. In Jesus' name, and all according to your will, Amen

Pressure and Time

2008-07-09T09:43:00.004-05:00

Over millions of years and about 75 miles below the Earth’s surface, carbon under tremendous pressure transforms into a diamond. Now, while we don’t have millions of years to live here on Earth, God takes the time we do have to transform us into something beautiful.

Come join me today and read about our transformation!

Pure Beauty

2008-06-30T06:49:00.003-05:00

First of all I just want to say that what is here today is my jumbled thoughts all thrown together. I hope they make some sort of sense...

As I was driving down the interstate the other day my mind wandered to a time long ago.

It was a place with no road signs, no tall towers, and no pavement. It was just the Earth as God had created it in the beginning. My thoughts were caught up in a simpler time (maybe...no washing machines!) :)

I was surrounded by the beauty of God's creation. I mean, even now, I see how beautiful it all is, but for a moment there was nothing to distract away from that magnificence.

It got me to thinking of Job 38. It's one of my favorite places in the Bible. I'm amazed at how many times I end up in this same chapter.

I am just a speck of sand here on Earth yet he knows my name. He is in control of my life even when I think I'm so big I can handle it myself. This scripture puts me in my place so to speak.

I have huge significance in this world yet there is someone who is more significant. There is someone who is in control...and it's not me.

I am finding myself praying more to my Father in heaven than I have for a long time. I find myself not spending as much time in his word but in conversation with him. I used to get down on myself when I wouldn't spend that time in the Bible gobbling up all he has to say to me. In this time I am simply listening more for his voice prompting me to talk with him.

If I had the patience :) I would type out all of Job 38 for you. But, I urge all of you to take a few minutes today and let God show you who is REALLY in control of your life!

PRAY WITHOUT CEASING!! GOD CAN CHANGE THINGS IF IT"S MEANT TO BE!!

Writer or Encourager?...that is the question!!

2008-06-17T06:35:00.004-05:00

Hey all! I'm sure you noticed I haven't been posting much. With summer here and the busyness of it all, there isn't much time left in a day to write.

Please know that I'm still here reading yours and keeping in touch that way. I'm feeling led to just be an encourager during this time instead of writing. I will post my devotions when they come out on the website and also anything I might feel God is leading me to share, so please do check back every once in awhile!

I'll be around leaving comments!

Nothing but the Blood of Jesus- Midweek Motivation

2008-06-11T06:19:00.004-05:00

I loved playing in the rain when I was a kid. I walked right beside the curb where all the water gathered on its way to the gutter. The rain fell on me as I would dance. I was free...

Click here to read more!

To Lisa:

2008-06-06T13:45:00.005-05:00

This song goes out to my friend Lisa. We have been friends since we were babies. She is an atheist. I'm almost 100% positive that she will never see this, but if by some crazy chance she does, I want her to know this...

I love you more than you know. I pray for you...

To hear more stories behind great songs- join Amy for Then Sings My Soul Saturday!

What am I...

2008-06-04T15:00:00.004-05:00

...passive.

According to dictionary.com this means- inactive.

I have to confess. I have not been motivated to do much lately. I attend church on Sunday mornings but that's as far as it goes. I've never joined the church or any Sunday school class. I still, after a year, know no one at the church. I often wonder why that is. Why don't I reach out? Why do I always wait for someone to come to me?

I think for me the question is always, "Are we going to be moving again soon?" It is so hard to leave behind friends you've made from one place to the next. As if it's easier to remain alone so there's nothing to leave behind again. I think it's just time to not worry about it anymore. What will be will be...it's time to move on!

I'm not sure what finally got the ball rolling but we are attending a " get to know the church if you want to join meeting" this Sunday. I am excited and can't wait to get involved.

Thanks for listening to me ramble about this. I am just so glad that we are finally doing something instead of living in the past.

Blessings

2008-05-30T06:07:00.005-05:00

Today is Friday. I woke up early this morning with the word luck on my mind. I used to say that word alot.

We should feel lucky that you have a job right now. or

We're so lucky that our children are healthy.

I learned a long time ago that luck doesn't have anything to do with it. Now I replace that word with the word blessed. I often still write the word luck and then go back and put blessed in it's place.

It's a reminder from God that he's in control of everything.

I know I'm blessed. I think about it everyday...but today I feel it in my bones.

Here is a picture of some of what God has blessed me with. But, beyond the edges of this picture there is so much more. Thank you God for all that I have.

You can't ever get them all to look at the camera and smile at the same time, can you? :)

How much more?

2008-05-27T12:36:00.006-05:00

As I sat and watched this video I couldn't help but think of the love this father must have for his child. He apparently would do anything for him. I thought about all the pain he must have went through, both physically and mentally. It made me think of this:

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him. So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. Matthew 7:11-12

So here is the story behind the video:

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?' The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went on to complete the marathon together.Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.'

To which, his father said 'Yes' to. For those who didn't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile(3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island .

Father and son went on to complete the race together.

How much more would our Father in heaven give us if we would only ask??!!

Not paying attention

2008-05-22T06:57:00.006-05:00

So, this is what happens when you let your 2 year old watch you paint his sisters toenails and then take said sister to a school function while leaving him at home with his daddy and older brother-who are playing a video game!

Ya'll, this was not found out until we walked back in the door. I guess when they heard the garage door open "the boys" decided to get up and see where my baby was. He greeted us all at the steps looking like this.

All I could do was look at my husband and say... nice. Then, I venture off to find what he had gotten into. Fingernail polish! On his eyes!! He must have watched me put eyeshadow on before and even his eyelashes were pink. He did try doing his toenails too but I couldn't get a shot that wasn't real blurry, so you only get his face painting.

Funny thing is he found this polish in a different place than where he saw me put mine away.

The good Lord was looking out for my hubby though...there wasn't a speck of fingernail polish anywhere else but on my baby. Oh yes ya'll, the sweet Lord was DEFINITELY looking out for my hubby!!! :)

Gone...forever

2008-05-19T13:24:00.010-05:00

I got a call the other night from a good friend. She told me someone we had gone to high school with had just killed himself.

My heart is so heavy.

I see his face. Young. Cheerful. Happy. I have no idea the road life has taken him down all these years. I wonder, how alone do you have to feel to do something like that? As tears fall down my cheeks I think, " What if?"... If I had only known, but there was no way for me to know.

This is not the first time someone I have known has chosen this road.

I am so scared of what lies ahead for my children. What choices will they make when encountered by the things of this world.

The world has gone crazy. Drugs, alcohol, murder, suicide. Can life really get that bad?

I just keep seeing his face. I wish I could reach out and help him, but he's gone. Forever.

What did he say to himself before he did something so final? My heart aches for how alone he must have felt. Caught up in a world that offers nothing.

My dear Christian friends, the time to speak is now. Don't hide the hope inside any longer. We have to share it with the world. There may never be another chance.

We walk passed them on the street. It's that single mom struggling to make it. They sit next to us in church. I'm urging all of us to not sit idle...let's go find them. There may never be another chance.

If anyone out there is as alone as he was and you are reading this, I want you to know there is hope and it lies in the name of Jesus. He will always be there to help you. If you want to know how to find that hope, email me at kcnace@kc.rr.com and I will listen. I will share with you the everlasting love of Jesus.

Oh, God please hear me. There are so many lonely people who are going to do the same thing. God please help me find them so I can share your love with them. So I can tell them they are never alone. That you will be right by their side if they would only accept you. God help them. Forgive them for they no not what they do. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

You saved me

2008-05-16T13:48:00.011-05:00

I'm not sure why the Lord is leading me to share this today. It has been written for some time now- saved away for a better time. I have been scared to share it. Afraid of what friends might think if they knew the person I was or the things I used to do. But God has a plan and today is the day.

I was at a Christian women's conference in 1999. My mother-in-law, Cheryl, had invited me to go. She wasn't my mother-in-law at the time but I am now blessed to be able to call her that.

I sat at the conference all day listening to people's testimonies. I cried a lot listening to all their stories, which weren't so different than mine. At the end of the conference they had a time for you to come forward if you wanted to ask Jesus into your heart. I wasn't sure what had came over me, but there I was walking down the LONG isle to the front. I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. I wanted forgiveness for all my sins. I wanted peace in my heart. I know now that it was the Holy Spirit that walked me down the isle because I am certain it was not me moving my legs. Thank you God! Oh, how I needed your help!

After the conference was over we headed back to Cheryl's house. I had planned on leaving from there right away to make the hour long drive to my house. I had plans with a couple of friends that night. We were going to be drinking and most likely, partaking in some sort of illegal drug. I was never an addict, but if God had not intervened when he did, I very well could have been.

But, what I hadn't planned on was asking Jesus into my heart earlier that day. I knew there was no way I could go home that night- so I asked Gary and Cheryl if I could stay at their house for the night. Of course, they said yes.

I didn't get much sleep that night. I was awake crying in the room. It was just me and God. I felt in my heart that I needed to confess every sin I could remember ever committing. I hungered for that forgiveness. I wanted peace in my heart.

The next morning I felt so good- though my eyes were almost swollen shut from all the tears. I ate breakfast and headed home. I went straight to my friends' house. The ones I was supposed to go partying with the night before. I sat on their front porch with them and told them that I had gotten saved last night. They looked at me like I was crazy. They said, " What does that mean?" I shared that I had asked Jesus into my heart as Lord and Savior of my life and that he had died on the cross as payment for all the things I had done wrong and that I was forgiven for all of it. They still thought I was crazy. They didn't understand what I was saying because they didn't have Jesus living in their hearts.

I went home and fell on the couch in despair. My friends thought I was crazy. I felt dejected and my joy for the Lord felt far away, as if it had left as quickly as it came. I remember sitting there on the couch with my arms folded and my head hung. I felt so alone.

Then, I tilted my head up and there on the wall was the shadow of a cross that was filtering in from a nearby window. I knew God had placed it there at that exact moment. My heart welled up with love for my God once again and my joy was brought back. In that very moment I knew that My God would never leave me. My God would never forsake me. He had seen what I had shared with my friends and wanted me to know that he was there, regardless of what they thought of me.

God can give you this same peace. All you have to do is accept his grace and love. Just believe in your heart that he died on the cross so that your sins would be remembered no more, and on the third day he rose from the grave and now sits at the right hand of the Father in heaven. He has risen to prepare a place for you and if he has risen to prepare a place for you then He will come back so that you may be where He is. If you feel Him tugging at your heart-- then don't waste another second. Just take that first step, believe in your heart and let the Lord do the rest.

Here is a song I found the other day. It speaks of a message very dear to my heart.
If you get nothing else from this-please get this...God can change people. I can testify to it. No matter the past- PEOPLE CAN CHANGE! Don't judge - just pray.

If there's someone out there ready to ask Jesus into their heart but you don't know how or what to do, email me at kcnace@kc.rr.com and I will do my best to help you. If there is some one who needs prayer, if there is someone who needs to talk- I am here and more willing than you know.

PEOPLE CAN CHANGE!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLXrGPES554

Go see Amy for more beautiful songs, or also here for more stories of signs, miracles, and wonders!

Midweek Motivation

2008-05-14T06:14:00.006-05:00

I'm over here today!

No Emergencies

2008-05-12T16:49:00.003-05:00

Okay, this weekend my house was full. There were 12 of us. Six children(5 of which are under the age of 7) and then 6 adults.

We managed to escape the weekend with only 2 scrapped elbows, a nice concrete burn along the spine, and a seriously bruised hip! But, no emergency room visits. This is truly amazing my friends, considering grown men and 1 woman decided to ride children's scooters( with a weight limit that was far exceeded) down a hill at high rates of speed.

Um, HELLO- DANGER! DANGER!

Thank you, Lord for looking out for us. It was truly a great weekend and a wonderful Mother's Day!

It's all about the hike

2008-05-08T06:11:00.003-05:00

Since we're on the subject of dogs, I'll share a cute story with you.

It was Justin's turn to take Ralphie, our dog, out for a walk. He came back in overjoyed, saying "He's a real dog now!!"

" What do you mean?" asked Dallas, our daughter. Justin replied, " He hiked his leg for the first time when he went to the bathroom!"

My son had some how associated the hiking of a leg to becoming a "real dog." I started thinking about how Ralphie's actions had proven to my son that he is what he is--a dog. What Ralphie had done is what dogs are "supposed to do."

Makes you think about how people are watching us as Christians. Do our actions tell them who or what we are? Are we acting like we are Christians? Are we showing others that we walk the walk and not just talk the talk?

Funny what can bring God to mind...

...and the dog got a haircut...

2008-05-05T06:35:00.009-05:00

I used to be a clean freak. Some of those who know me well still think I am, but that I have chilled out a little. I can honestly say there wouldn't have been a time when you could drop by and my house didn't smell like it had just been mopped.

Some say that might be a good thing. I say it took away time from my kids. It also didn't allow my kids to be kids because I couldn't let their toys lie around for too long.

I thought this was how I was supposed to run my house, that if I was a stay at home mom then my house had to be pristine. Over the last couple of years God had laid it on my heart that I wasn't letting my kids be kids. I was always hollering to pick this up or don't do that.

Now, you will find crumbs under my kitchen table- if the dog hasn't been under there to lap them up. Yes, I did just say dog. I have NEVER been a pet person- the smell, the hair! But, we got one for the kids this past Christmas. And that, has taken some time to get used to. For me it's like standing at the open door of the airplane at 15,000 feet waiting for someone to push you out the door. One of those things you have to force yourself to do.

But again, God has been faithful in getting me through this one too. He is my parachute. When I feel like taking the dog to the pound(which is at least once a day), I hear him say, "He won't be a puppy forever." That and the fact that I just got this dog's hair buzzed to 1/4 of an inch is helping me a great deal!

In the meantime, I pray that my house doesn't smell like a dog and that no one finds a hair in their food!

Here's Ralphie- before and after the buzz!!

Really...it's best for all involved!

:o)

A Story you won't forget

2008-04-30T21:08:00.012-05:00

I spent 2 hours on Sunday afternoon catching up on this story. I couldn't move from my seat. I couldn't turn my eyes from the page.

Here is a 20 minute clip of their story. It's worth your time...

http://www.vimeo.com/951902

A story so heart wrenching, yet so full of faith. A woman able to write her journey of pain and hope. A mother's words...so powerful...so strong.

She needs our prayers. Visit Angie's blog to read more of their story.

Decisions...decisions...

2008-04-28T14:10:00.005-05:00

For about a month and a half now, my hubby and I have been muling over a decision we have to make. A decision that will affect the lives of our family. ( no not divorce...we like each other verymuchthankyou!! :) )

It's a decision that I have tried "reasoning" over for much too long. I have reasons to do it-very valid ones I might add. Then, I also have very valid reasons not to do it.

I have reasoned myself into total confusion over the situation. My mind has been so on the go over this that I have rarely asked God what it is he'd have us do. I was reasoning my way right out of God's will. Isn't that just crazy, ya'll?

Anyway, we are now at the threshold and are going to have to make a decision on this too soon. We have wasted so much time debating that now there is no time left.

In my quiet time today I came across this scripture, and I know God brought me here:

It says in James 1: 5-8

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

I had a conversation with God after reading this- he basically said: " Why do you not trust me?"

I said," This is my life we're talking about here. I don't want to make the wrong choice."

* Did you all hear what I just said to God? Could I possibly be serious? I mean-who am I? It's almost humorous, isn't it?

This is what he said," I made you. I know what is best for you. I know the plans I have for you. Trust me, give it all to me and I will answer you. I will give you peace in your heart and peace in your spirit, and you will no longer have to doubt."

Wow, is he not great?!! :)

Once again I have relied on myself, on my own understanding, and it has left me nothing but confused. I am finally giving this one to God.

My most gracious heavenly Father, thank you for once again showing me that you are the way the truth and the life. All answers are from you and for you. God take this from me and do what you will. I want clarity and peace and wisdom Lord. Please bring it to my heart. I trust you. In Jesus' name, Amen

Let's go...

2008-04-26T20:51:00.008-05:00

I am truly enjoying all this new music-a lot of which I haven't heard before. Join us at Amy's to hear some new tunes!

I believe in the power of prayer. I've seen so many of mine answered, that I KNOW He hears me. It makes me wonder why I don't spend more time praying.

I don't know if it's the voices singing this, or if it's the words- but I can listen to this song over and over again.

Do you all want to go? I Do...

Here is Dallas' Devotion----Faithfulness

2008-04-24T14:30:00.010-05:00

** If you haven't read the short post below, go there and see why Dallas has written a devotion!

Here it is! I am so proud of her...

FAITHFULNESS

If anyone is ashamed of me and my words...the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels.

Mark 8:38

Are you faithful to God? What do you "do" that makes you faithful to him?

I get up on Sunday morning and go to church. I really enjoy being there, and I get upset when Mom or Dad tell us we're not going. I like it so much because the teacher makes it fun for us and we learn a lot about God.

I also show my faithfulness to God by praying. I know it's something he wants me to do.

I feel like I should be doing more to show my faithfulness. I think I should tell about God no matter how embarrassing I think it might be. He does so much for me, and I need to respect him more for that by sharing him with others.

He says in Matthew 25:23:

" Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"

Wouldn't that be spectacular?

Now get on your feet, go out, and tell about God. Show him your faithfulness!

Lord, help me be faithful to You, no matter what. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen

Here's what's going on today!

2008-04-24T06:13:00.006-05:00

Good morning everyone. Today is national child go to work day, and since Dallas didn't want to go to work with her Dad (which I will explain), she will stay home with me to see what I do while she's at school all day.

Her Dad sales beef, and when he informed her that they BBQ up some cow gut and other things for the kids to try, she happily declined! I do believe I would've done the same!! So, since she is home with me today we will be getting a lot of laundry done, and of course some house cleaning!

But, I also want her to try writing a devotion since this is something else I do. She will be giving this a try later on today, maybe this afternoon, so I do hope you will check back to see what she will post here!

Let's all come back and get inspired by an ALMOST 12 year old young lady!!

What am I thinking about?

2008-04-22T08:00:00.009-05:00

You know, God is really showing me that my thoughts are negative most of the time. It just comes naturally for me- I don't mean that as a joke either....unfortunately. I have become so used to thinking in this way that it is second nature for me.

I'm not even sure I know when it happened or when it began. But this much I have learned so far, it is a slow and deliberate process by none other than the enemy...Satan. He knows my weaknesses and he waits and works ever so slowly on my thoughts until I feel defeated.

It's time for me to start really thinking about what's going on in my brain. What it is that I am thinking about ALL the time? My mind is always so busy with things (apparently most of which are not good) that I'm missing what the Lord is telling me. I'm not hearing that still small voice because there's just to much noise going on upstairs.

My mind needs to be renewed, and it's something I'm going to have to work very hard at. It has been taken captive, and the Lord needs to have access to it again to gain back that control. I know the process will take some time, but if God can crumble the wall around Jericho, then he can do the same for the negative thoughts that encircle my mind.

My most gracious Heavenly Father, I come to you today on my knees. I need your help to get my mind in right thinking. I pray that the eyes of my heart may be enlightened in order that I may know the hope to which you have called me ( Ephesians1:18). Through you Lord, I have a complete assurance of a certain victory. I know you are going to help me. I know I will succeed in this because you are by my side. Thank you, God. In the sweet name of Jesus, Amen!

I am a......?

2008-04-18T13:02:00.006-05:00

On the same drive I was speaking of in my last post, this song came on the radio. I have heard it a hundred times before, but this was the first time that my heart and mind were open to hearing the words.

I was overwhelmed thinking that God, the Creator of heaven and earth, would love me enough to call me - His friend!

He is AMAZING!

For more inspiring stories and songs go see Amy at Signs, Miracles, and Wonders.

Trip down memory lane....

2008-04-18T09:43:00.006-05:00

Today I went back in time. I'm remembering my 10th or 11th birthday party where I opened up the greatest gift I had ever gotten.

It was a .......ghetto blaster!! I believe the preferred choice now is an ipod. :) Oh, but my ghetto blaster ROCKED, and along with it came a particular tape that I oh, so enjoyed! (more on that later)

Mom and Dad, I'd like to say thanks again for those gifts - I thought I was the coolest chic in town!......

This all came flooding back today while on my way to taking my son to the orthodontist. A certain song from this tape came on the radio. I started singing loudly when my son said," Mom would you puh-leez turn the station." I said,"But this is a classic" to which he replied, "Yeah, I can tell."

Uh- hello, can you say reality check!!

Oh well- I am who I am, right?!!!

Anyway, here is a link to the song. And ladies, you might want to put some dancin' shoes on so you can work off some of those unwanted calories. It's the perfect time right....good music and exercise...the two really do go hand in hand! ENJOY!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Tqf9PuKi63E

Oh, come on ya'll...you know your head was bobbin and you were twitchin your shoulders!!! ;)

Leaning

2008-04-15T19:36:00.004-05:00

I hope that you all will forgive me for wallowing in self pity.....AGAIN!! LOL

God is really working on me. It seems to all be hitting at one time and sometimes I get overwhelmed, wondering what it's all for. I guess I am still searching for my purpose-what is it that God is changing me for?

Oh, how I wish I was a patient person-wish I didn't always have to have all the answers.

I am broken and in search of healing. Yes, I know where the healing comes from. It comes from my Creator. But, it is so hard to wait when your in pain.

I was at my daughter's soccer practice this evening. Across the field were 3 trees bending in the wind. Have you ever noticed that trees, having been blown in the same direction by the wind for a long amount of time, just naturally lean that way?

It's supposed to be that way with us and God. We should learn to naturally lean into Him after spending time in a relationship with our Father.

Oh, but my flesh- it wins out too often, and it's like spittin' in the wind, my friends.

I need to learn to lean into my Maker. Trust in the One who is above all others.

I want to say thank you to Kimberly who reminded me to lean in.

And also a thank you to Laurie who reminds me that Satan is ever present waiting to devour the weak in their weaknesses..... sometimes I forget that he is lurking.

Thank you so much to all of my friends who pray for me and remind me that I am never alone. I truly felt your prayers today.

This is the verse I am holding on to tonight and in the days to come:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will. Romans 12:2

A Withering Tree...

2008-04-15T05:39:00.005-05:00

About a week ago I woke up with a wonderful thought in my head. I was a tree planted by a stream. My roots delved deep into the earth to soak up that water. It refreshes me, that water.

He is like a tree planted by streams of living water,which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalm1:3

But lately, I just don't feel refreshed. I feel dry and very thirsty. My leaves are brittle and beginning to fall. Nothing I do seems to be right and I wonder 'where has God gone.'

I feel I have done or am doing what God has asked of me. Why can't I hear him?
Why don't I feel his presence? Is there something else in my heart that I need to repent of?

Lord, please come back and refresh me. Show me if there isn't a right attitude in my heart. Help me to feel your presence in my life. I'm here every morning Lord to spend time with you yet I still walk away dull. Where are you? Please show me what you want me to do. For now Lord, I will just meditate on the fact that your grace is enough. In Jesus' name and all according to your will, Amen

Where Am I?........Then Sings My Soul Saturday

2008-04-10T14:59:00.010-05:00

The things in my past might make some Christians gawk, while others, with a simple fling of the wrist would say, " That ain't nothin' girl, listen to this.....!"

I have always tried my best to never judge others. I do this only because I know the place where I come from, and because I know the place where I am going.

I am a work in progress. God chooses certain things to work on and then moves on to the next. It is a gradual process that will last my lifetime.

So if you asked me where I am in my walk with Jesus....this is what I'd say:

Go here to see Amy for more songs of inspiration!!

Getting to know me

2008-04-10T06:30:00.011-05:00

I've been tagged by Jenifer at By His Grace. Here is what she wants to know:

What I was doing 10 years ago: (1998)- and please know that I didn't quite yet know the saving grace of Jesus at this point...so don't let anything shock you! :)

* Being a single mom
*Had just met my one and only husband
*working in a bar
*attending nursing school
*being very bitter
---Thank God that by his saving grace I am passed all of this!

5 things on my to-do list today:

*NOT laundry since I got all of it done on Tuesday-but tomorrow I will be busy with it again!
*cleaning bathrooms...'Oh, why must we be the ones'...can't you just hear the lament!
*thinking about the fact that I'm starting my new healthy lifestyle on Sunday, soooo....
*I'll be eating whatever I feel like :)
*Cooking up a great dinner since the kids don't have practices tonight

5 snacks I enjoy: being that healthy lifestyle change occurs in 3 days....

*chips
*candy
*chips
*candy
*and UUUMMMMM...did I mention- CHIPS!

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:

*give all the $ necessary for my church to build their first church building- we currently meet in an 'unused' wing of the hospital
*pay off all our debt including cars and house and whatever else- along with those of our siblings, and parents!! What a great day that would be!
*Travel
*Put money away for children's education
*also for the education of nieces and nephews
*invest

5 bad habits:

*temper--doing much better
*quick tongue- doing much better
*won't let anyone wear only socks on their feet when around the house...I have NO idea why-it just drives me crazy!! :)
*OCD...Ahhhh-to only let some of those pesky details go....
*not getting around to showering until late morning- on most days-but hey, I've only got so much time :)

5 places I've lived:

*Kansas
*Colorado
*Nebraska
*Georgia
*Missouri

5 jobs I've had

*waitress-at a pizza joint in high school...loved it
*in charge of irrigation at golf course
*mowed greens at different golf course
*nurse
*Stay at Home Mom

I am tagging anyone who hasn't done this yet, so- drop me a line if you participate so I can come over and learn more about you!! :)

And now...... I would like to take the opportunity to give Jenifer the Excellent Blog award. You always cheer me up and you are a true witness for Christ in everything you say. I am always encouraged by you. ENJOY!! :)

Come join me

2008-04-09T05:50:00.003-05:00

I am here today. Hope to see you there!!

Hurry...to get a free CD!!-------UPDATED

2008-04-08T12:30:00.017-05:00

Click here for a free CD...hurry while supplies last!! All the freebies are gone BUT you can order them online for only $8.97 and that's an awesome price!!

After that, check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNk29-fjqXM. It's previews of some of the songs off the CD that hopefully...you just got for free!! I just loved listening to the stories behind the songs. He is fabulous!

Just a little tid bit of info...Matt is actually the one who wrote ' Your Grace is Enough' which was recorded by none other than.....Chris Tomlin!

Total Honesty

2008-04-07T06:47:00.012-05:00

I didn't get much sleep last night. I guess I have some conviction in my heart.

Here is the issue-

I went out Friday night with a girlfriend from high school and a couple of girls she knows. This friend and I have remained great friends all these years and she invited me to a ladies night out.
We went to dinner, and here is where the conviction comes in. I had a couple of beers.

I know the Bible says-do not get drunk with wine. So I assume that a couple beers isn't that big of a deal. But, the conviction is there...am I being a good witness for Christ? Am I a hypocrite? Did I really do something wrong?

I have always felt that because I am of legal age to drink, then I am not breaking the law.

During my time with God this morning- this is the scripture that really got me to thinking about this: (It is of Paul speaking to believers everywhere)

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is by faith in Christ- the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.--Philippians 3:7-9

It says- not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law but a righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

Because I am of legal age I was obeying the law-but maybe not the law of righteousness that God calls me to.

The study portion of my Bible on these verses says this-we have to make sacrifices in order to fully enjoy the resurrection power of Christ. What are we willing to give up in order to know Christ? An overcrowded schedule in order to spend quiet time with him? Some of your plans or pleasures? Your friends approval?

I am still struggling with this a bit. I know there is conviction in my heart, but did I really do something wrong?

I have already gone to God for the answers I am seeking on this issue. I know that he is my guide.

I am curious if anyone else deals or has dealt with this issue in their heart.

Writing Contest!!

2008-04-03T06:41:00.006-05:00

Hey all,

CWO is hosting a writing contest which is sponsored by Art Bookbindery. Click on the picture below for all the information:

Go on over and check it out.....you never know....and there are lots of prizes for the winner- including--- $400!!

Sponsored by Art Bookbindery

Give God the glory, glory!

2008-04-01T12:59:00.008-05:00

If any of you read my post a couple of days ago then you know I have been struggling with getting up early to spend time with God. I thought I needed to get up at 4:30 am but he has shown me that I can do it at 5:00 instead. That 30 minutes means a lot!

I used to do my quiet time when my 2 year old son was napping in the afternoon but felt God urging me to do it in the morning. I ignored him for a long time, but thankfully after much prodding, I gave in. I don't believe he calls everyone to do this in the wee hours of the morning- He just knows I have little patience and somewhat of a bad temper- though it is MUCH better than it used to be.

You see, by the time I got around to it in the afternoon, I had already ruined my day and the day of the ones I love. I need that time in the morning to get my head and heart straight. I am so thankful God put me back on track with his will.

So far this week has been awesome. I realize it's only been 2 days but....2 days is 2 days, right? You've gotta start somewhere!

I have also been very convicted about my relationship with my husband. How there are so many more things I can do for him to help him with his day. After all, that's what I was created for-to be his helper.

When I think of what my husband does for me, I am blown away by it. This is what I told him the other day...and I meant it with all my heart. " I can not imagine getting up everyday at the crack of dawn and going to work knowing that it is my lot for almost the rest of my life. Thank you for what you do for your family....I don't think I could do it." Imagine HAVING to do that for your whole life- there's no option. How stressful that must be.

So, the last 2 days I have gotten up and had my quiet time. Then I have made my husband a awesome breakfast that would take him through till lunch. I got my daughter up and did the same for her. Then, it was time to get my boys up and do the same for them. All the while I had folded a load of laundry, started another, and got the dishes going in the dishwasher! This was all done by 7:15 am.

I don't say this boastfully. I say this because I am so overwhelmed with God's amazingness. ( Is that even a word?)...oh well, it's gonna be today! :)

He NEVER fails me. He proves his trustworthiness every time! He doesn't have to prove himself- he just chooses to, and because of that I am beginning to trust my Maker more and more everyday!

So, I will continue on this path because it is the one that God calls me to. I am joyful today and I give God the glory!!

As my friend told me......

"weeping may last for the night, but JOY comes in the morning." (Psalms 30:5)

Thank you Lord for showing me the way and help me to stay in it. I know there will be days that I fail.

All right ladies lets help her out!!

2008-03-31T14:16:00.003-05:00

I received a comment from Digging for Pearls that reads:

If you have a few minutes, I would love your input on my blog in regards to the ten struggles that Christian women face. Thank you!

If you go to her link above and leave your comment, she will put your name in a drawing for a book.

She is asking what are the top 10 things that you struggle with as a Christian women?

Here is the comment I left:

Hi, I'm 32 and a SAHM to 3! I am sure there are more than 10 but here are the struggles that came to mind right now that I face as a Christian women.
1. figuring out who I am
2. quiet time with God
3. obeying God
4. understanding that my top ministry is to my husband
5. anger
6. loneliness
7. selfishness
8. trusting God
9. self image
10. getting everything done cuz I waste too much time

I figure if I nail down #3 then all the others will fall into place!! :)

So let's all go here and help her out!! I'm ready to see that I am not alone with my struggles...so join in, won't you?

Have mercy on me......Then sings my soul

2008-03-30T13:11:00.009-05:00

I wonder why I continue through life trying to figure out just how little I need to do in order to be right with God.

Why, if God has sacrificed ALL, can't I get my lazy butt out of bed at 4:30 am to give him my attention? He died for me....is it really that much for him to ask of me?

My selfishness has once again separated me from my Father.

I woke up this morning feeling very alone, and while sitting in church today, this came to mind and I wrote it down on my program:

His mercies are new everyday!

While I am still feeling sad today, I know my Father is merciful. He will see me through.

I need to spend some time on my knees, crying out and asking for forgiveness.

I need to understand why I think it's okay to just try to "get by" when it comes to God- when I know he requires more of me.

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:9-11

This is the song my heart is singing to the Lord today

Update: God has shown me this morning( Monday) that I can get up later than I think to spend some time with Him!!